#the bookshelf limbo
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Ensayos sobre la empatĂa
#took me a while but finally finished them all yay#essays on empathy#deconstructeam#underground hangovers#zen and the art of transhumanism#supercontinent ltd#engolasters january 2021#behind every great one#11:45 a vivid life#eternal home floristry#dear substance of kin#the bookshelf limbo#de tres al cuarto#de tres al cuarto game#fanart#digital art#art#my art#artists on tumblr#featured#blood#ask to tag
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Anyways Iâm now emotional thinking about how Bryce celebrates Caseyâs birthday and how each year, as he grows in love with her, his gifts get more and more thoughtful even though itâs the bottom on the list of love languages for him
#bryce lahela#casey valentine#open heart#open heart choices#k speaks#like during their intern year he probably doesnât wanna make too big a deal of it bc theyâre in a weird limbo relationship#so he like. gets her favorite drink and buys a cookie from her favorite bakery and sends her gifsets of her favorite movie#(which is pride & prejudice)#((tell me iâm wrong bc you canât))#and then their second year itâs after The Attack so he figures he can get her a thoughtful gift#and he hunts high and low for it and genuinely considers asking siennaâs help#but THEN#he finds an old copy of pride & prejudice in a used bookstore#nothing special but he sits and reads it himself and annotates it and makes little boxes around her favorite lines#(it is literally her favorite gift of all time)#(also itâs one of the reasons keikiâs like âoh you are WHIPPEDâ)#and then third year he decides to do a diy project but something small enough that she could take it with her if she moved#(itâs bookshelves he makes her a bookshelf)#heâs just. so in love UGH i love them
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Somedays I hope things get worse, just so I can stop being stuck in this limbo. I am tired of waiting for the next shoe to drop.
I hate the place I live in, I want to change my job, I want to buy stuff that cannot fit in a suitcase. But I can't, cause this is "temporary" and I have no control of when it's going to end.
#midnight rants#anxiety#limbo#i just want to buy a bookshelf#I am so tired of keeping my books in boxes#they deserve better
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2024 in Review (Indie Games)
2023 | 2022 | 2021
Helloooo gamer friends!!!
I'm so tired.
Lol.
Anyhoo, y'all don't care about that!!! Y'all are here to see what games I played and what the heck I have to say about them! Reminders: I don't bash games I didn't like, and I try to post more in-depth thoughts and reviews and general yapping to Gem's Game Gems.
DEMOS
When Stars Collide - I am by no means a sci-fi girlie. I need a HEAPING dose of fantasy or fantasy elements to help me out. That said, y'all might remember how I went feral for Gilded Shadows, so I am locked in for this journey with WSC. It's just as mysterious and lore intense as GS, but also just as intriguing and engaging!
Love Me, Love Me Not - I looooove when a game charms me to pieces??? Our MC Addie, the introduced LIs, the story, the art??? Where do I begin?? Anyway, please check this one out y'all! I'm impatient for the full game (shocker, I know).
Threads of You: Beyond the Bay - So my thoughts and reactions for this one are on the side blog, but I really enjoyed the demo and I have eyes for Chris, Vince, and Alex hehehe.
Lost in Limbo - While I'd been keeping tabs on this game for what seems forever because of the character art that originally caught my attention, I almost didn't finish the demo because it was lowkey disturbing (I'm a wimp and not all horror is made equal). But!!! BUT!!!! I push through to the end, had a good time, noted that I need to play the full game in the daylight with the music turned down low. And I absolutely adore Ara and Xal so, so much.
A Simple Twist of Fae - Absolutely no one cares, but I read a lot of manga this year. Like, a lot-a lot. Like, ~180 books and 1/3 of that was manga. Anyhoo, When JMB announced she was cooking up this game, I was impatient to get my grubby hands on it. AND THEN I PLAYED IT AND IT WAS THE SHOJO INSPIRED GAME OF MY DREAMS?!?! Like.....I wish I could both have it on my computer and also on my bookshelf. Final build dropping when??? (Also the UI design is utterly delightful, I cry.)
The Summit Library (FULL DEMO) - The last time I reviewed this game, we got chapter 1 as a taste, and I was. Locked! In!! The full demo gives us the first 2 chapters as well as the previews for all the romance routes and while giving everyone a whirl I'm *still* undecided on who to go for in the future, I must mention this: TSL is so aspec friendly???? I do love a game with smut, don't get me wrong looks at College Craze but sometimes I have my moments of being overwhelmed/sliiiiiiightly repulsed and the variety of options you have to choose how you react and interact with the various LIs in this game is amazing. (I have more thoughts on this, so I'll try to remember to post to the sideblog, but please understand that this game is totally worth your attention and time imo!!!)
Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)
Rabbit Trail - This. Game. Is. SO. Cute. *punches the air* đđ„č(Copy + paste of my review on the itch.io page -> This was so charming, so fluffy, so cozy, just delightful all around??? I've only reached one ending so far, but RenĂ© is just the cutest protag to play as, and his interactions as he delivers his mail made me cheese so dang hard! (Also, I wanted to fight his parents for not properly appreciating their kid LOL))
Stuck by Design - I checked this game out because I was looking into games that fellow programmers had worked on, and this cozy game stumbled onto my lap. The music was perfect, the UI is beautiful and clean, and I thoroughly enjoyed the performance of the VA for the LI, Yuki.
Wake Me Up If You Need Me - I called this game older!HSDJY MC x Ryan coded and I'm still right. The voice actor MAKES this game, and the interactions the player has with Reed is so flippin' delightful?? All my love and adoration to the game developer. May they make more beautiful games.
CTRL FREAK - The developer team brought us The Faithfulness of the Universe which is a banger in its own right, and CTRL FREAK is the team's commercial, finished project that I also found delightful. The soundtrack and the animations are chef's kiss đ
Breathless Winds - Ooo, baby, ooo. So. If there is only one game you play from this list and you have some spare cash to spend (at the time of writing, the game is on sale!!!) please, please, check this one out. It left me absolutely spellbound, both the orginal demo, and then the full game. While I didn't get to blog fully about this one, and I only tackled 2 of the 4 routes, this game is absolutely everything. This is my indie game of the year. Poppy and her journey resonated with me, and between the music and the art, everything just came together so perfectly.
Wake Up Magical Girl - Listen TF up, if miseri creates it, I'm gonna play it, idc, idc. That being said...this game had a kick to it that when I finished my first playthrough, I had to stare off into space and gather myself. It takes the concept of magical girls and heroism and gave me a teeny tiny existential crisis, but other than that, I'm fine, it's fine, play this game, thank you.
Sleeping Under Spells - God, I love me a game where I get to argue with a LI. I love it. Bonus points if it's lowkey stupid stuff we're bickering over LOL!!
Our Wonderland - Yeah, uh huh, you thought you'd escape me talking about this game this year, didn't yah???? Too bad. The fifth and final arc dropped this year and I played it and I cried and felt for the briefest moments that life was okay. To say something different than my review of last year, I love that this seems to be the game that helps fellow ace devs find and flock to each other, I'm not kidding đ€Ł so thank you Carrot for helping us fellow aspec peeps feel seen and validated and understood!
I Watched a Full Game Playthrough and Highly Recommend
Replay Boys - Okay so technically at the time of posting, there's still one more video I'm waiting to watch (Naja of BlerdyOtome uploaded her stream to YouTube) but my Godddddd. I've had my eye on this game for FOREVER but I was lowkey waiting for it to move to itch.io (I'm still a lowkey Steam hater đ„č) anyhoo, watching this absolutely wild game made me go ahead and buy a copy for myself to replay at a later time, but it's just great. The summary only scratches this surface of what the game entails đ€Ł
Gemiâs Gushies
(a list within a list of games that have devs trucking along in the background and I want to spotlight for yâall)
Save the Villainess - Life got away with me and unfortunately I never finished my play of the demo BUT what I have played was fun and I hope to return to this in the new year!
Woman of Xal 2 - Plot Twist Studios is on that Sequel Train with the next installment of WoX!!! Which I'm VERY excited for!!! I've unfortunately only completed one playthrough of this game, but the first game is definitely a masterclass in replayability, and I hope next year I'll be able to do a second playthough as I wait for game 2's Kickstarter!
...
And that's 2024! Any shared favorites?
- Gemini đ«¶đŸ
#happy holidays!!#gaming year in review#yay!! shorter list!!!#(also because...I didn't game that much this year đ„ž)#here's to whatever goodies 2025 brings!
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Kusakabe and voyeur for the requests pretty please đ„șâš - melk
hey @pink-melk, i did not see that coming đđ thanks for sending him in!
cw: kusakabe x gn!reader (with a certain cameo), penetrative sex, exhibitionism, bottom reader | divider by saradika | send me a prompt
The risk was calculated. But neither of you suspected you wouldn't stop when caught in act.
You're not exactly sure who's the man frozen behind the bookshelf across the room. Half of adults running around is wearing black suits, after all, and his distinctive features are dissolved by the game of the dim light and tenuous shadows.
But you know he's watching intently, eyes transfixed on your figures melting into each other against the wall. Once or twice your eyes meet over Atsuya's broad shouldersâand you shudder in his arms, excited, ashamed, stripped bare beyond the layer of your clothes, skin, and soul. The man's gaze sips through your lover's back, grazes along the curve of your bent leg, follows the rhythmic sway of your connected hipsâand turns to sheepishly meet yours.
He's in the limbo between discomfort, embarrassment and perverse pleasure. You know it from his hunched shoulders and heaving of his chest. You know from experience, too.
"Heyâ" Atsuya doesn't like your attention slipping away from him. He snaps hips forward, deep and under angle forcing your eyes into the back of your head. "Breathe, will ya?"
He's aware you two are being watched, his moves and touch have changed since the rustle of papers behind his back almost spooked you from your hidden corner. But he's been too lost in it already, pinning you into the wall the harder the more you tried to wiggle out and hide.
So, you gave up. And soon, your enthusiasm caught up on his.
"I'm breathing," you promise, lips wandering along his neck and pressing close whenever a moan threatens to break out. With sadistic precision, Atsuya catches each and every of those moments and ruts into you harder. As if one anonymous man in the room wasn't enough audience for him.
He gets one, eventually; you tremble with a louder whine, leg wrapped around his hips pressing him in, limiting his moves to deep thrusts. You're close.
The man behind the bookshelf gives up; retreats, curling shoulders in shame, and closes the door behind himself a little too pointedly for the loud thud to be just an accident.
"Perverted lawyer," Atsuya breathes into your ear, chuckle melting into groan as you clench on him on the last step to your high.
#kusakabe x reader#kusakabe x you#kusakabe x y/n#kusakabe x gender neutral reader#kusakabe x gn reader#kusakabe atsuya x reader#kusakabe atsuya x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#kusakabe smut#bas writes#jjk#kusakabe atsuya#gender neutral reader
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Average
Jinx x Fem!Reader
a/n: A buddy of mine recommended me to post my fics here sooo...
This is a MA story!
Explicit Sexual Themes
Minors DNI
Both characters are 18 years old.
(Y/N is depicted as 5"1 with mid length hair.)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e0aa7de328b0cb9a21cfbac6fac05bca/142829f4375a6932-96/s540x810/df7cfa5bc40780b137c331787d40e694422aafed.jpg)
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Chapter 1. Ordinary
Thereâs nothing worse than being average. Being average never won anyone an award. It never allowed one to be picked first for sports to join their team. Most of all, being average almost always drove my thoughts to make me feel as if I wasnât important; as if I didn't deserve to exist with the rest of the society. Not quite a nobody, but not quite somebody: a depressing limbo.
Average.Â
The way the word rolled off my tongue made me want to rip it out, tainting my mouth with such a despicable word. Iâve been average pretty much all of my life. I would rather be super nerdy if that allowed attention from someone other than my small knit group of friends. I yearned to be something other than what most would consider an NPC. It was a curse.Â
I huffed silently as I let the negative thoughts thunder inside my head, each pessimistic worry bouncing back and forth against my skull like a rabid squirrel trying to escape animal control. I slumped in my chair, my arms dangling off the sides with my cheek squished against my notes staring off into a bookshelf across from me. I really should be studying, but I just couldnât bring myself to pick my head up. I was too busy drowning in my dismal self-reflection. As I stared at a random thick leather book spine, another intrusive thought appeared. Did studying in the schoolâs library during my free period make me even more average? Should I study underneath a busy overpass? Or maybe in the middle of the street?
âYou look lively.â I heard a familial voice say behind me.Â
Still too upset to move, I lazily lifted my arm to give them a half-assed wave before letting my arm go limp again. I heard Calista snort before she stood in front of me, blocking my intense staring contest between the leather book and me. She placed her hands on her hips, giving me her infamous look of disbelief.
âGoinâ through it again, huh?â Her displeased look softened into one of empathy, taking the seat in front of her.
I nodded softly, my cheek slightly sliding the paper beneath it. âOh, Y/n. There, there.â She sighed, giving my head a couple of pats. âIs it the usual Y/n thought special a la carte?â She chuckled, leaning on the table with their head supported by her hands.
âYeahâŠâ I trailed off, flashing her a pair of somber eyes. âWhen is it not?â
She dropped her pastel pink satchel onto the table, the thud resonating between the table and my head. Calista started to dig through her bag, various sounds emitting from it as she blindly searched for something. A few more seconds of noisy clutter clashing around echoed before she exclaimed, âAha!â She triumphantly pulled out the item, hiding it within her closed fist and extended it out towards me. âGive me your hand.â Calista demanded.
I pinched my brows together with curiosity as I held my palm under her fist. She opened her hand and a small blue wrapped candy fell into my palm. A Blue Raspberry Warhead. I should have known. Were they my favorite? Yes. Did she only ever give them to me when I was being âsourâ? Also yes. I felt a smile tug at my lips as I unwrapped the citric acid coated shell, my mouth already salivating from thinking about it. I finally separated my cheek from the table, sitting up straight in my chair as I popped the vibrant blue candy in my mouth.
âBetter?â She beamed, closing her bag before dropping it at her feet.
I rolled my eyes, trying to regulate the amount of saliva I was producing and nodded slightly. She knew me better than anyone else. I was grateful for her.
âYeah. Thank you.â I replied, moving the candy to my opposite cheek.
She watched as I enjoyed my little sour delight, her face visibly concerned before giving a forced shutter.
âI donât know how you can just eat those with a straight face. Any normal person would be puckering until their whole face was sucked in.â She stuck her tongue out and let out a low, guttural sound of disgust.
I couldnât help but laugh at her comment, sticking out my blue stained tongue at her. I guess I wasnât completely ânormalâ after all. Even if it was over something trivial as being sour resistant. Iâll take it.
âOur free period is almost over. Wanna walk to class with me?â She asked, glancing at her matching pink smart watch while simultaneously reaching for her bag.
âMhm.â I mumbled, gathering my loose notes sprawled in front of me.Â
As I gathered my belongings, the raucous laughter of a group of girls reverberated through the library, their footsteps echoing loudly as they made their way towards the exit. Not wanting to look like a weirdo, I discreetly stole glances at them, envying their perfect hair and bodies swaying with each step. They were the epitome of popularity in our school, often referred to as the It Girls given by yours truly. I felt jealousy surge through my veins. They looked like fucking models while Iâm over here looking like Plain Janeâs sister, Basic Betty.
There was one girl in particular out of the bunch that stood out to me, Jinx. Not only was her name super edgy, but she was the most gorgeous girl to me. Her strikingly long blue hair was typically meticulously woven into two flawless braids, cascading gracefully down to her ankles. Her complexion? Flawless. Her outfits were always so trendy, constantly wearing a mixture of alternative, yet stylish comfy clothes. And, probably one of my favorite attributes about her, she had a sleeve of baby blue cloud tattoos going down her right arm that were almost always visible. That girl was just effortlessly oozing perfection. She was so lucky.Â
âReady?â I asked Calista, tearing my eyes away from the girls, hoisting a single backpack strap on my shoulder. She replied with a smile and started towards the exit.
As I tailed a few steps behind her, my mind once again started to plummet into a tumultuous sea of self-deprecating thoughts, each wave crashing against the shores of my consciousness with a relentless force, dragging me deeper into the abyss of despair. God, I wanted to be her.
#jinx#jinxxreader#jinxfanfic#arcane#arcanefic#yn#fanfiction#smut#sexuality#lgbt#gay#lesbian#queer#arcane jinx
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The Eternal Summer
BONUS CHAPTER: In Another Life
Summary: You're surviving but not living since your husband was murdered by Sweeney Todd. Now, his cousin arrives to administer the estate, but nothing goes as either of you expected.
AN: Do you remember when I asked whether Turpin should survive Sweeney's attack and the overwhelming response was yes? What if no? đ
Read now on Ao3 or below the cut:
Eight months had passed since the death of your husband, Lord Turpin, and your life had been in limbo ever since. Not expecting to die so soon, he hadnât drawn up a new will to include you, and so his estate in its entirety was to be passed to some cousin youâd never heard of.
Said cousin was living in Australia, and though a letter had been sent to him on your husbandâs death, the months it took for ships to travel to the far-off land meant that the cousin that now owned the house you lived in was nowhere to be seen: until today.
You had found yourself a simple kind of routine living on your own as a widow. You werenât allowed access to your husbandâs money, so you were forced to make your own. You sold some dresses youâd made, and with the proceeds you bought more fabrics to make more dresses, and eventually you managed to establish a steady income for yourself.
You were in Johannaâs old room, which had become a de facto workshop, when you heard a knock on the door.
You peered out of the window to see a man at the door, face obscured by the hat on his head, waiting for your response with a suitcase at his feet.
Curious - and unable to send a servant, since you could only afford a cook or a maid and had opted for the former - you made your way downstairs and opened the door to greet the man.
For a brief moment, you thought you saw a ghost. The man looked strikingly familiar to your dead husband, if he had been a decade or so younger and sported a moustache and goatee. He was also very handsome.
âMay I help you, sir?â
âGood afternoon. May I speak with the lady of the house?â
âYouâre speaking to her.â
The man smiled and tipped his hat to you. âAh, Lady Turpin, I presume. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Elliott Marston. I believe I own your house.â
Of course - a suitcase from a two-month journey at sea, a resemblance to your husband. This must be the cousin.
âI believe you do, sir,â you said with a small curtsy. If this man owned your house, he could kick you out at any moment - you had to stay in his good books, no matter what. âWonât you come in?â
You stepped aside to open the door fully to him, and Elliott carried his suitcase into the hall, looking around at the house he owned but didnât know.
âWould you like some tea, sir?â
âIâd love some, thank you.â
You showed him into the parlour room, then busied yourself in the kitchen making a pot of tea. When you returned with a tray in hand, Elliott was stood at the bookshelf, looking curiously at one of the books. He looked up as you entered, then placed the book back on the shelf and sat in one of the seats by the fireplace. You placed the tray on the small table between the two seats and poured a cup for each of you.
âHave you just docked from Australia, sir?â
âNo, the boat docked in Liverpool, so Iâve just travelled from there. And enough with this âsirâ business, I donât recall her Majesty granting me a knighthood and we are family, after all. Just Elliott will do.â
That took you by surprise; it was frowned upon to call anyone you werenât familiar with by their first name. Even your own husband you frequently addressed formally, only calling him by his first name in intimate moments. Then again, this man was from Australia - perhaps they did things differently there.
âWell, in that case, I suppose you can call me [Y/n].â
You poured your own cup of tea and sat opposite Elliott. You were unused to hosting; whenever your husband had visitors, you were always to either stay out of sight or to be seen but silent. Making small talk with the gentry wasnât something you had particular practice with.
âDid your journey take you very long? I hear Australia is months away by even the fastest boat.â
âYes, it was two months at sea, but Iâm used to travelling long distances. I own a lot of land in Australia, it takes days to traverse it. At least on the boat I had shelter from the heat.â Elliott sipped his tea and nodded his approval at your tea-making skills. âThis is excellent. Did you make it yourself?â
âYes, I - I have no maid,â you admitted in shame. âBut I have a cook, so if youâd like to stay for dinner, Iâm sure heâll make enough for two.â
âThat would be wonderful, thank you. [Y/n], I must admit, I canât stand formalities and pleasantries. May I talk straight with you?â
âOh - er - yes, of course.â
âGood. The truth is, Iâm happy with my life in Australia and I have no use for a house and its contents in London. When I read the solicitorâs letter, my first thought was to write back asking him to sell it all and put the money towards something good, a school or something. But then I read on, and he mentioned that my cousin had left behind a widow who had no family to support her. Again, I thought about writing and asking everything to be given to you, but the way the solicitor spoke about you in his letter was frankly disturbing. He seemed to imply that he believed you married William only for his money and I worried that if I left it in his hands heâd leave you out on the street, so I decided to come here myself to execute the estate and do whatever I need to do to keep you in your home.â
Your hands were shaking, and you had to put your cup down lest Elliott notice.
âYou⊠travelled here from Australia to ensure I wouldnât be homeless?â
âWell, of course,â Elliott said with a casual shrug. âWeâre family, arenât we?â
âI⊠I donât know what to say.â Youâd been so scared of him showing up to claim the house and leave you out on the streets, and yet here he was arriving to make sure that didnât happen. âYou are - you are most generous, sir.â
âNonsense. I wouldnât have been able to live with myself if I knew there was a lady out on the streets for the sake of my owning a house I donât need. A good thing too, because a beautiful woman such as yourself would catch the eye of many an untoward lech. Iâll stay a while, if you wonât mind - itâll take a while to sort out all the administration, and itâs been such a long journey, Iâd like to make the most of London before I set foot on a boat for another two months.â
âOf course! You can stay in the master bedroom, Iâll make another room up for myself.â
âNonsense, this is your home, I shouldnât take your bedroom from you.â
âNo, I must insist. You said yourself youâve just been on a boat for two months. The best bed for comfort while youâre here is the least I can do.â
âWell, if the lady of the house insists, who am I to argue? Now, Iâm going to get myself to the solicitorâs office before it closes for the day - what time does your cook normally serve dinner?â
âSix oâclock.â
âPerfect! Iâll be back by then. Thank you again for the tea, [Y/n], and for your generous hospitality.â
You stood to escort him to the door and gave him directions to the solicitorâs office. Your heart skipped a beat when he kissed your hand before heading off, and you realised only when he turned a corner and disappeared from view that you were even watching him go.
---
You were actually quite eager to have Elliott for dinner, even though youâd spent the last few months dreading his arrival. But now that he was here, and heâd assured you he wasnât going to put you back on the streets, you were glad for some company and you found yourself buzzing around before dinner, making sure you and the house looked presentable, and by the time he arrived at a quarter to six, you were already ravenous.
âI forgot how cold this country is,â Elliott said with a shiver as he stepped inside, his hair damp from the rain. âIâm here one day and the Heavens open on me.â
âIs Australia much warmer, then?â you asked as you helped Elliott out of his coat.
âOh, very much. Even in winter itâs hotter than a London summer. Iâm used to the Australian weather, but I suppose to you itâd feel like an eternal summer.â
You led Elliott down the hallway towards the dining room.
âThat sounds wonderful! I love summer, when everythingâs so bright and warm - except for today, of course. But I assure you itâs usually much nicer than this.â
Elliott chuckled. âIâm sure it is. Whatâs for dinner?â
âSalmon filet and vegetables. I do hope you like fish, if Iâd known you were coming Iâd have asked chef for more choice ââ
âNonsense, salmon sounds lovely. I live very far from the sea, I donât get much opportunity to eat fish.â
In the dining room, Elliott sat down at the table in what used to be Williamâs usual seat, and you busied yourself with making a fresh pot of tea.
âHave you always lived in Australia?â you asked.
âEver since I was a child and my parents moved over as settlers. Thatâs why I was so surprised William left me his estate, to be honest. The last time I saw him, I was a child and he was at university.â
âWell, youâre the only family he had,â you explained. You brought the tray of tea over and poured each of you a cup. âHe had no siblings and no children. You were all he had left.â
âHe had you.â
You glanced at Elliott and blushed.
âWell⊠we werenât married very long. He might have changed his will if heâd had time.â
âMmm, the solicitor said Williamâs death was foul play. What happened?â
You told Elliott the story of Sweeney Todd and his plan for revenge on your husband, and you surprised yourself at how easy it was to talk to him. Even though you were talking about something awful, and though you did falter in your storytelling when you came to describe the way your husband had been killed, there was something about Elliott that made the story bearable to tell.
By the time you finished the story, the chef was bringing out your dinner.
â[Y/n]⊠Iâm so sorry you had to go through that,â Elliott said gently. âA sweet lady such as yourself shouldnât have to witness something so awful.â
The image of your husband bleeding out in the barberâs chair flashed before your eyes, and you shivered.
âYes, it was⊠quite horrible,â you said in a quiet voice.
âAnd youâve been on your own ever since?â
You nodded and picked up your knife and fork, not even noticing that your hands were shaking. Elliott noticed, though, because he reached over to take your cutlery from your hands and cut your food up for you, making no comment on your reaction.
âIâve been on my own⊠waiting for you,â you admitted in a quiet voice. âI thought youâd come here and send me into the streets. That youâre willing to let me stay⊠it means a lot to me, Elliott. Thank you.â
Elliottâs eyes flickered up to you and he smiled. He put your cutlery back down, then placed his hand over yours, and your heart skipped a beat.
âI wonât be responsible for your suffering,â he promised. âNow - letâs see if the salmon in London matches up to the salmon in Melbourne.â
You hadnât enjoyed dinner so much in a long time, if ever. Youâd had good conversation and laughter with your brother Tommy, but never good food. Youâd had good food with William, but dinners were always a reserved affair. But with Elliott, you had the best of both worlds - the salmon was delicious, and you had to excuse yourself several times for bursting into laughter with food in your mouth, to the point where you wondered if Elliott was doing it on purpose.
âI refuse to believe there are truly creatures like that in the world!â you exclaimed with a laugh when you heard Elliottâs description of kangaroos.
âThere are! I swear on my life. And theyâre vicious things as well, I wouldnât want to get near them. One of my men died from a single kangaroo kick.â
âIâm still not sure I believe you. If only I could go to Australia and see them for myself.â
âWell, maybe you can,â Elliott said casually. He took a swig of his wine, then said, âYou could always come back with me.â
âCome⊠with you? To Australia?â You shook your head. âNo, no, I couldnâtâŠâ
âWhy not? You say youâre alone here.â
âWell, yes, butâŠâ You glanced around the room. âThis is my home. This house - London - itâs all I know. I canât just⊠leave.â
Elliott raised a hand soothingly.
âI understand. If you change your mind, the offerâs open.â
After dessert, you stayed in the dining room long after you were finished, talking and laughing, listening to every story he had to tell you about Australia. At some point you moved to the parlour room and rummaged in the cupboards until you found the pack of cards William kept for the nights he played poker with his lawyer friends.
Elliott showed you how to play piquet, and to both of your surprises you picked up the game quite quickly and even began to beat him after a while.
âAre you sure youâve never played this before?â Elliott said with disbelief as you won your second game in a row.
âNo, never! William never let me touch his playing cards.â
âA shame, because if youâre as good at poker as you are at piquet, you might have been his secret weapon. One more round before bed?â
âAlright.â
You won that game too, and you were pleasantly surprised that Elliott wasnât angry that youâd beaten him, but rather impressed that youâd picked the game up so quickly. After a quick nightcap, you showed him to the master bedroom, then retired to Johannaâs old room, your workshop, to get ready for bed.
Elliott wasnât used to sleeping in a nightshirt. It was so hot in Australia, he rarely needed to, but in London it was so cold that he had to wrap himself up a bit more. The bed youâd put him in was soft and comfortable, so even though the outside air was cold, he felt quite cozy as he placed his gun on the nightstand and climbed under the covers. It had been a long day - a long two months - and he was ready to drift off as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was very nearly asleep when he heard a tentative knock on the door.
ââŠYeah?â Elliott mumbled, sitting up in the bed.
The door creaked open and you appeared in the doorway, peering around the edge of the door as if frightened to impose - as if he wasnât the one imposing on you.
âSorry to disturb you, Elliott. Itâs freezing in my room. Do you mind if I take the blankets from under the bed?â
âNo, of course not. This is your bedroom, after all.â
âWell, actually itâs yours,â you joked as you slipped into the room and made your way to the other side of the bed.
âHey, come on, itâs yours,â Elliott insisted. âMy house, maybe, but your home.â
You sighed as you looked under the bed.
âOh, drat, I forgot. I used the blankets to make some coats. Well, never mind.â You stood up. âSorry to have disturbed you, Elliott.â
âWell, hold on,â Elliott said quickly as you went to leave. âYou just said your roomâs freezing. Itâs warm in here and thereâs plenty of room in the bed. Why donât you sleep here?â
Your cheeks flushed red, and you gaped at him for a moment before collecting yourself.
âI - Elliott - wouldnât that be⊠inappropriate?â
Elliott put his hands up in a show of innocence. âI wonât do anything untoward. I just donât want you to freeze for my sake. Come on.â
He tugged the covers back on your side of the bed and patted the mattress.
âIf you donât get in, Iâll get out and sleep in the cold room, and what sort of hostess would that make you?â
âWell⊠alright, I suppose.â
You climbed into the bed, feeling warmer and more comfortable the moment you pulled the duvet over you and fell into your usual sleeping position.
âGoodnight, Elliott.â
ââŠGoodnight, [Y/n].â
When you woke the next morning, you were the warmest and most comfortable youâd felt in months. You had your arm wrapped around your husbandâs warm body, spooning him for warmth in the cold winter morning. Your hand instinctively travelled down his torso and felt the familiar hard length he sported every morning.
His nightshirt had ridden up to his waist in his sleep, and so you had no barrier at all when you wrapped your hand around his length and stroked him lazily. You let out a contented hmm when you felt him twitching beneath you, his body responding to your touch.
He let out a small moan, followed by a sigh of your name, and you froze.
Your eyes snapped open, and reality came crashing down on you.
Your husband was dead. The man you were fondling was his cousin.
Before you had time to think, Elliott placed his hand over yours, encouraging you to resume your movements. You obeyed instinctively, not wanting to anger him by changing your mind when youâd already begun⊠and truthfully, a part of you wanted to keep touching him. It had been so long since youâd touched a man, and his length did feel so good in your handâŠ
Elliott made such sweet sounds when you rubbed him just right. He bucked his hips into your hand, encouraging more friction, and you obeyed by speeding up.
You knew you should stop. Elliott wasnât your husband. Yes, youâd had sex with William before marrying him, but you werenât much more than a glorified whore. You were nothing of the sort to Elliott, just the widow of a cousin he hadnât seen for years⊠and yet he wasnât rejecting your touch.
Your cunt was aching. Youâd missed this. Waking up next to a warm body, making gentle love in the morning, both too tired to fuck as ferociously as you had the night before and would later in the day.
You were lonely. You were horny. And when Elliott rolled onto his back, it was instinct more than anything that caused you to slide your hips over his, your bodies pressed together, your height difference allowing you to get away with burying your head against his chest, avoiding looking him in the eye as you tentatively ground your wet cunt against his length. Elliott groaned and placed his hands on your hips just as you raised them, and you truly couldnât say which of you made the movement that led to his cock slipping inside you.
You wanted to kiss him, but that felt too intimate somehow. Like kissing him, looking at him, would mean acknowledging what you were doing. If you kept your head down, busied your lips with grazing against his neck instead⊠you could focus on the feeling of his cock inside you as you rolled your hips, the sound of his gentle moans, the feel of his large hands on your hips, helping guide you as you rode his cock. If you didnât look at him, you avoided the truth of what was happening.
It might not be right. But Lord, you needed it.
It was a chilly morning, but the room quickly warmed up, your moans and sighs filling the air and saying everything that needed to be said about what was happening.
You were both lonely. You both needed this act of intimacy. And you were both choosing not to speak about the implications of it all.
You came around his cock with a long, drawn-out moan, the tensions you hadnât known you were carrying falling away, and you welcomed his seed as he came inside you, filling you up as his own tensions were carried away into the ether with your own.
You stayed motionless on top of him for a few moments, catching your breath. Then, when you moved off him, Elliottâs hands fell away from your waist and he made no protestations as you rolled out of bed and pulled your nightdress down, covering the sight of the seed running down your thigh, and left the room as if nothing had happened.
When you next saw Elliott at breakfast, you decided to act as if nothing had happened. You chatted amicably about your plans for the day, then cleared up your plates and made your way upstairs to work on your current dressmaking project.
In the evening, Elliott joined you for dinner, and afterwards you invited him to look at the dress you were making, since he seemed to show an interest when you spoke about it.
âIâm very impressed with your creativity, [Y/n],â Elliott said as he examined the half-sewn dress that sat on a mannequin. âMost women of your station would simply buy their dresses. I find the initiative quite admirable. I dabble with some creativity of my own - nothing fancy, mostly recipes - but I find it so much more rewarding than having something presented to me ready-made. Donât you think so?â
âOh, yes, I quite agree!â you said enthusiastically. âThe ability to create - whether it be food, clothing, art - itâs what sets us apart from animals. It may sound silly, but⊠it makes me feel Iâve contributed to the world in some small way. So even if I died tomorrow, there would be some mark on the world that I left behind.â
Elliott looked at you curiously and smiled.
âThatâs a beautiful way of putting it. Are these your designs?â he asked, pointing to the pile of drawings on the nearby desk.
âOh - yes, but Iâm afraid Iâm not as good with a pencil as I am with a needle. Theyâre rather rudimentary drawings, but it at least helps me remember my ideas. Would you, um⊠would you like to see them?â
âPlease!â
You felt your cheeks blushing harder and harder as Elliott looked through the drawings. You pointed out some of your favourite designs, those that were too extravagant for you to attempt to create, or just plain impossible.
âRemarkable. You truly have a gift, [Y/n].â He glanced up at you and chuckled. âBlush any harder and you might just come to resemble a tomato. Youâre not feeling embarrassed, I hope.â
âSorry, itâs just that I - Iâve never shown these to anyone before,â you admitted. âWilliam⊠he was never interested. He let me sew because it kept me occupied when he was at court, but he had no interest in it.â
I prefer your clothes on the floor, he had said to you once, but you decided to keep that part to yourself.
âWell, itâs a shame. Are you going to work on it any more tonight?â
âYes, I was going to put together some more of the bodice before I retire.â
âMight I watch you? Or would you prefer to work alone?â
âNo, itâd⊠itâd be nice to have some companionship, actually. If it wonât bore you, that is.â
âNonsense. You do what you need to do, Iâll make us both some tea.â
You worked late into the night, later than Elliott could stay up, and he made you promise not to work for very much longer when he retired to bed before you.
The clock in the corner of the room struck twelve, and you realised you should probably retire.
You readied yourself for bed, and shivered when you put your nightgown back on.
You hesitated, thinking. It wouldnât hurt to share warmth again, would it?
When you poked your head into the master bedroom, Elliott was fast asleep, so you tip-toed quietly to your side of the bed and slid under the covers. Warm and comfortable at last, you fell asleep almost instantly.
You woke up to a soothing presence pressed up against your back, and this time you remembered that it was Elliott who was sharing your bed.
It was Elliott who was fondling your breast.
His arm was under your nightgown, holding you tight against his torso, and his fingers were lazily playing with your nipple. You could also feel his erection pressing up against your bum.
It was clear what he wanted, and you were surprised he hadnât taken his pleasure from you already. You would often be woken up by your husband entering you in your sleep - he had to dispel his morning erection, after all, and he had to do it before he left for court. He couldnât wait for you to wake up.
Elliott had no strict timings on his mornings, so perhaps that was why he was taking his time, groping you in your sleep until you were awake for him.
You rolled onto your back, hand reaching out to take Elliottâs length and guide it into you.
He ducked his head to take your breast in his mouth as he let you guide him to your entrance, and his ministrations must have aroused you even in your sleep, because there was no dryness to resist him as his length slid up your walls and settled comfortably inside you.
With each slow but firm thrust, your breasts followed the movement, and Elliott released your nipple from his mouth to let your flesh rub against his cheek. He grazed his teeth against your skin, leaving behind a trail of saliva as he positioned his head in your neck, seemingly as determined as you to avoid eye contact, to avoid the acknowledgement of the strange situation.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, holding his body against yours, and over his shoulder you saw the movements of his rear as his hips thrust into you.
Elliott let out a small moan with each sensual thrust, his breath tickling your skin, and you responded in turn with moans of your own when he sped up, his movements becoming more firm, more desperate, as you both felt your pleasure climbing.
You were too lost in the pleasure, the intimacy, the desperation of the moment to worry about anything else. For a short while, there was nothing else in the world, just you, he and the pleasure that was coiling ever tighter inside you, and when your orgasm overcame you and your whole body shook, Elliott kept thrusting into you, stopping only when his own orgasm hit and you felt his warm seed filling you up and he moaned sinfully against your neck.
After a few moments, Elliott rolled off you and onto his back, but this time, you made no quick exit. Instead, you let him hold you lazily, both of you sated, both basking in the comfort which existed between you so easily, although you couldnât explain why.
You still didnât say a word until breakfast.
You fell into a strange routine. You spent your days as you would - you working on your tailoring, he on the administration of your husbandâs estate - and at night youâd slip into bed with him, each time telling yourself it was only because the other room was so cold. In the morning, youâd not say a word to one another as you fucked, usually starting slow and sleepy, and ending with a desperate passion.
On the third morning, you woke to his tongue between your legs.
On the fourth, you were about to lean over to take him in your mouth when he grabbed your hips and positioned you to sit on his face, and you might have worried about suffocating him with your cunt if you werenât occupied with taking his length into your mouth.
The fifth morning was a Sunday, and you wondered if anything might happen - your pious husband had never fucked you on a Sunday, after all - but your question was answered before you even awoke, as when your eyes opened and your mind returned to the waking world, you felt Elliott was already inside you, though he didnât begin to thrust until he knew you were awake.
The sixth morning saw you taking him in your mouth before he woke, and words passed between you for the first time when a âfucking hellâ escaped Elliottâs lips as his fingers slid into your hair.
On the seventh day, Elliott woke to find the bed empty, and he found you instead in your tailoring room, sitting at your desk and still wearing your nightgown.
âUp early or still up?â he asked as he approached you from behind and placed a hand on your shoulder.
âUp early,â you replied. âI had an idea in my sleep⊠I had to get it down before I forgot.â
âYou gonna come back to bed after?â
âItâs alright, Iâm done now.â
You stood up, but before you could turn around, Elliott caught you in his arms, and that morning he took you from behind over your desk - and for the first time, you moaned his name when you came.
You knew one of you would break soon and mention your morning activities during the day, but you were determined to put it off. Talking about it would mean thinking about it, and you didnât want to confront your feelings any time soon, so you continued your strange routine for another week until one day when a letter arrived at your house addressed to Elliott.
âOh, itâs from my uncle,â Elliott said in answer to your curious look as he read the letter at the dinner table. âOn my motherâs side, no relation to William. I wrote to him when I arrived to tell him I was in England. Heâs invited us to visit him in Sussex.â
âUs?â
âWell, he says âyou,â but I choose to take that in the plural. Would you like to come? Heâs got quite the estate as I recall.â
âSussex? Isnât that very far?â
âNot really. About half a day by carriage.â
âThat sounds very far to meâŠâ
Elliott smiled at you. âYes, I suppose it would. Compared to my lands in Australia, itâs no distance at all. Have you ever been to the country?â
âNo, I⊠Iâve never left London,â you admitted. âThough I would love to visit the country, I hear itâs a lot greener than London.â
âOh, much greener. To be frank with you, London is horrid. All the smoke in the air, beggars on the street, buildings clumped together and the earth hidden beneath cobblestones⊠Iâve only been here two weeks and Iâm craving the fresh air. In fact, if youâve never left London, then I insist you come with me. Itâll do you good to breathe the open air. Who knows - maybe weâll even see some sheep.â
Your eyes lit up then, and Elliott smiled to see his words had had the desired effect on you. Heâd told you all about his lands in Australia and the different animals he kept, and in turn you had told him how you wished to see sheep, which you always thought seemed so cute from your books.
So that night you packed a bag, Elliott went out to find a horse and carriage to rent for the next morning, and come bedtime you were so excited at the prospect of going to the country that you didnât even think twice about going straight to the master bedroom with him. Usually you at least fooled yourself into thinking you were going to sleep in the second bedroom, but before you even realised what you were doing, you were both in the master bedroom, getting dressed for bed.
Elliott said nothing about it; he acted as if it were normal, and after he blew out the candle beside the bed, he wrapped an arm around your waist and held you as comfortably as if youâd always slept like this.
âGoodnight, [Y/n],â he mumbled against the back of your neck.
You smiled and linked your fingers in with his.
âGoodnight, Elliott.â
---
The next morning, you had to be up early as youâd be travelling for most of the day, so you were rudely awakened by a knocker-upper in the middle of a lovely dream about winning a cheese-eating contest.
âCâmon, [Y/n], time to get up,â you heard Elliott say a few minutes later, but you just groaned into your pillow.
âToo early,â you complained.
âYou can go back to sleep in the carriage, but we gotta get going.â
âIâm trying,â you insisted. âBody wonât move.â
Elliott chuckled, then you squealed when you were suddenly lifted into the air and thrown over Elliottâs shoulder like a sack of flour.
âYou want to see the sheep, donât you?â
âI wanna see the sleep.â
Elliott put you down, though he kept his hands on your shoulders to make sure you didnât fall asleep standing up. You looked up at him blearily and smiled.
âYouâre so handsome,â you mumbled.
âNow I know youâre talking nonsense. Come on, letâs get you dressed. You need a hand?â
You shook your head, yawned, then reluctantly set about getting dressed. By the time youâd laced up your bodice, Elliott had already loaded the carriage waiting outside with your luggage, and was waiting for you on the front doorstep with a cigarette when you finally emerged from the house.
âStill awake?â
âJust about,â you mumbled. âIf I sleep in the carriage, will you wake me up when we get out of London? I donât wanna miss seeing anything.â
Elliott offered his arm to you and led you to the carriage.
âOf course. Itâs not very exciting, though. Once youâve seen one field youâve seen them all.â
âBut I wanna see them all!â
Elliott laughed, then helped you up into the carriage. You shuffled along the seat to let him climb in after you, then once the door was closed, you immediately curled up against the side of the carriage and nodded off.
When you woke up, the first thing you realised was that you were lying down, though youâd gone to sleep upright. The next thing you noticed was that your pillow was strange, slightly rough and harder than usual. Then you realised there was a weight on your head, and when you felt fingers casually caressing your hair, you realised the weight was a hand.
Your eyes fluttered open, and you saw the back of the carriage driverâs seat, but sideways.
You were lying across the seat in the carriage, head in Elliottâs lap. Heâd wrapped up his coat and placed it between your head and his thigh for a pillow, and he was gently stroking your hair as you slept.
You closed your eyes again, savouring the moment. Elliottâs coat smelled like him, and his hand on your head made you feel safe and secure. Even though you were lying in an awkward position, legs bent slightly to fit on the seat, you felt a great sense of comfort.
âI know youâre awake,â Elliott said softly.
âNo, Iâm not,â you replied, your eyes still closed.
âI can see you smiling.â
âShh⊠sleeping.â
Elliott chuckled, and he continued his gentle stroking of your hair, both of you choosing to enjoy the moment rather than address it.
âWeâre out of London, by the way. Have been for a while.â
Now you did open your eyes, rubbing them as you sat up and looked around.
âYou said youâd wake me when we left!â
âIâve learnt today that waking you up before you want to is impossible.â
âHave I missed anything?â
âOnly dozens of identical fields. Take a look.â
He pulled back the curtain that covered the carriage window, and you leaned over him to look outside eagerly.
âWow,â you gasped. âThereâs so much space!â
The fields stretched as far as you could see, intersected only by trees and hedges. There wasnât a building in sight. Youâd seen drawings of the countryside, but it was an even more magical sight to behold in reality.
âYou should see my land in Australia,â Elliott said proudly. âHundreds of miles, it stretches for. I own even more land in Australia than there is in London.â
âYou jest!â you exclaimed, leaning back to look at him. âI believe that as much as I believe that there are such things as kangaroos.â
âItâs true, and so are the kangaroos. The worldâs much bigger than you know, [Y/n].â
âYes, Iâm coming to realise that.â You sat back down in the seat, though you made no effort to distance yourself from Elliott. He had an arm thrown across the back of the seat, and when you leant back, he placed a hand on your shoulder.
âIs it much farther to your uncleâs house?â
âAnother six hours or so. Weâre only halfway there.â
âSix hours?! Goodness. What do you to pass the time on long journeys such as this?â
âTalk. Smoke. Relax.â
Elliottâs hand was wandering across your skin, fingers dancing as he traced meaningless shapes across your shoulder, and you smiled when he threaded his fingers through your hair and scratched your scalp.
âYou like that?â he murmured softly.
You blushed and nodded. He threaded his fingers deeper into your hair, gently scratching at different spots on your scalp until he found a spot you seemed to particularly like, because you shuddered when he touched it, dipping your head slightly to give him better access.
Elliott withdrew his fingers, gathered your hair in his hands, and moved it aside to hang in front of your shoulder, giving himself access to pepper soft kisses across the back of your neck. You giggled slightly when his moustache tickled against your skin.
âWhat about that? Do you like that?â
You nodded, hardly daring to speak. Elliottâs trail of kisses moved up the side of your neck, and you let out an involuntary whine when his lips connected with the skin behind your ear.
âElliottâŠâ
He hummed acknowledgment against your skin, but whatever you were about to say was cut short when he placed his hand on your thigh and your breath caught in your throat.
His kisses were on your cheek now, and you could hear his breathing, feel his hot breath on your cheek. He cupped your face with his palm, encouraging you to turn to him, but despite everything youâd done with him already, somehow a kiss felt just too intimate.
So, when he turned your head, instead of kissing him you continued the momentum of your movement and pushed him back into the seat. You kissed his neck, then his collar, and as you kissed down his clothed torso, you were tempted to unbutton his waistcoat and shirt to give you access to his skin, but there was something arousingly scandalous about doing what you were doing with both your clothes still on.
When you reached his belt, Elliott helped you unbuckle it and grunted with relief when he released his hardened cock from the confines of his trousers. You licked your lips, then took his tip in your mouth, easing his girth into you. Elliott let out a low moan as you skilfully took him deeper and deeper until he was buried in your throat, your nose buried in his hair.
He placed one hand on your back and the other cupped your cheek, gently encouraging you to move. You slid your tongue along his shaft as you lifted your head, and though you intended to retract all the way to his tip, Elliott wrapped your hair around his fingers to hold you still and thrusted up into you. You choked slightly with surprise, but you simply widened your throat as your late husband had taught you to, giving Elliott the room he needed to bury himself inside you again - and again - and again.
At some point, although you couldnât say exactly when, Elliott released his grip on your hair and let you take over. You wrapped your hand around the base of his shaft so you could pleasure him without choking yourself, and which also allowed you to bob your head faster.
âAh, fucking hell⊠[Y/n]âŠâ
Even though youâd been sharing intimate moments for two weeks now, you still hardly spoke during and certainly never mentioned it after, and youâd have expected that hearing Elliott moan your name now would frighten you, making the moment too personal, but there was something about it that shot straight to your core, almost as if you wanted that level of intimacy with Elliott.
You pushed that thought to the back of your mind. That was something to deal with later; for now, you were just enjoying pleasuring him, listening to his beautiful moans as he responded to your ministrations.
What you didnât know was that while you were trying to ignore the feelings that were growing inside you - which you didnât want to admit had been growing since the day Elliott showed up at your door - he was revelling in his, savouring every moment of intimacy between you as if he were a parched man and your affection was his hydration. He tried to hold back his orgasm when he felt it climbing, because he didnât want this to end, to finish your unspoken intimacy and go back to pretending that anything was happening between you.
He tried to hold it back - but you had a way of telling when he was close, and you werenât one for edging, because it only spurred you on, sucking him off faster until he could resist no more. Elliott grabbed your head and pushed you down his shaft, burying himself in your throat as he shot his load inside you, and though you choked and spluttered, you relished in the feeling of his warm cum bypassing your mouth and filling you up straight down your throat.
You had nothing with you to clean him up, so you used your tongue and licked him clean. Elliott sighed with relief and leant his head back against the seat.
âJesus, [Y/n]⊠You are something else, you know that?â
You averted your eyes and blushed, as if you werenât the one whoâd initiated it. Elliott saw your bashfulness and smiled.
âHey, câmere.â
He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you in for an embrace. You cozied up to him and rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he gently rubbed your back. Elliottâs gentle touch, combined with the rhythm of his heartbeat and the movement of the carriage, soon sent you back to sleep. Eventually, Elliott found himself dozing off too, both of you comfortable in one anotherâs arms as the countryside rolled by.
---
You woke up a few hours later when the carriage came to a halt. You sat up, blushing when you realised youâd once again been sleeping with your head in Elliottâs lap. He, meanwhile, was still asleep; you giggled and pushed his mouth closed for him when you saw he was drooling.
Curious as to why youâd stopped, you pulled the curtain back from the window and saw that you were on a long road, flagged either side by lines of trees. The carriage driver hopped down from his seat, and you opened the door to poke your head out.
âIs everything alright?â you asked.
âGo back inside, mâlady, nothing to worry about. Thereâs a man injured on the road.â
âOh, dear! Thatâs not nothing at all. Here, let me help.â
Ignoring the driverâs protestations, you hopped out of the carriage, lifted your skirt to avoid muddying it, and followed behind him to attend to the injured man. Before the driver could examine the man, however, another man came suddenly from between the trees, punched the driver hard enough to render him unconscious, and the supposedly injured man jumped up to begin rifling through the driverâs pockets.
You, naturally, had exclaimed in surprise when the second man appeared, and as soon as his punch landed, he turned his attention to you.
âHey, we got a twofer!â the man exclaimed, grinning hungrily. He grabbed you before you could dodge him, and you screamed.
âUnhand me, you scoundrel!â you shouted, fruitlessly pulling against the grip the man now had on both your wrists. He simply laughed and threw you to the ground.
âI been hoping for a girl to rape all day,â he said with a nasty grin as he unbuckled his belt. âTodayâs my lucky day!â
 BANG!
You cried out in surprise again when a gunshot rang out, and the manâs luck ran out as blood began to pour from his forehead, and if his stunned expression were anything to go by, he was dead before he hit the ground.
His companion, who had up until now been searching the driverâs pockets, went to grab his own gun, but his hand had hardly moved towards his belt when another BANG resulted in blood pouring from his chest, and after a few attempts at breathing through the blood filling his lungs, he too collapsed dead to the ground.
You tried to clambour to your feet, but the ground was slick with mud, and you embarrassingly fell back onto your bum. You jumped when a hand gripped your upper arm and pulled you to your feet, but you felt a wave of relief wash over you when you turned and saw that it was Elliott.
âAre you alright?â he asked urgently.
You nodded, though you were still frightened, but you were otherwise unharmed. Acting on instinct more than anything, you wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your head against his chest.
âOh, Elliott, thank goodness,â you sighed. âHe was - he was going to ââ
âShh, itâs alright,â Elliott said soothingly. His gun was still in his right hand, but with his left he embraced you and gently stroked your hair, seemingly undeterred by the mud that was no doubt all over you. âNothingâs gonna harm you, not while Iâm around.â
You sniffled, and Elliott holstered his gun to allow himself to hold you properly, rocking you and murmuring words of comfort until your breathing had steadied.
âThe - the driverâŠâ you muttered, looking over your shoulder.
âAlive, but unconscious - I can see him breathing,â Elliott determined. âWeâll have to wait for him to wake up before we go on. Come on - letâs sit you down.â
Elliott kept an arm firmly around your shoulders as he guided you to the carriage and sat you down on the step to examine you.
âDoes anything hurt?â he asked as he gently took your chin between his fingers and turned your head to check for injuries.
âOnly my bum from falling back down,â you admitted. âErm - and my elbows too. I think they took most of the fall.â
âLet me see them. Can you roll your sleeves up?â
âNot in this dress.â
âYouâll need to take it off, then,â Elliott said matter-of-factly, and his hands were on your bodice, pulling apart the lace across your chest, before you could react.
âIs this a ruse to get my clothes off?â
Elliott smirked and his eyes flashed dangerously. âI donât need a ruse for that, sweetheart. We both know youâd be out of that dress in an instant if I asked.â
You had no reply to that. You blushed hard to hear him flirting with you so brazenly when youâd spent so long not speaking of the spark between you, but truthfully he was right. Even though you were out in the open, two dead men lying in the mud nearby and your carriage driver unconscious next to them, you felt a shiver of desire run through your body as Elliott ran his hands over your chest to unlace your dress.
You glanced down at his waist, where his gun was back in its holster, glistening slightly in the afternoon sun. It had happened so fast, you had hardly had a chance to fully appreciate what had just happened - Elliott had killed two men with hardly a flinch, all to protect you.
Almost instinctively, you spread your legs slightly, and Elliott must have been acting on instinct too when he moved closer to you. Although his hands were firm and calloused, still his touch was gentle as he pushed the shoulders of your dress down, peeling the fabric from your skin until you were able to pull your arms from the sleeves - and, as it just so happened, your breasts were revealed too.
Ignoring his desire to ravish attention on your breasts, Elliott instead focused on examining your elbows, both of which were grazed slightly but otherwise unharmed.
âAnywhere else that hurts?â
âMy thighs,â you lied. âMaybe you should check underneath my skirt too.â
Elliott raised an eyebrow at you. âYour thighs? Really?â
âMmm-hmm.â
You opened your legs a little wider, causing your skirt to ride up your legs, your calves poking out from below the hemline. Elliott put a hand on either ankle and made a show of slowly checking every inch of you for injuries, before sliding his hands over your knees and up to your waistband to pull your bloomers down, giving himself access to your bare skin to âcheck for injuries.â
âWhere does it hurt? Here?â Elliott asked, his hands resting on your lower thighs.
âMmm⊠higher.â
ââŠHere?â
His hand moved up to your upper thigh, and he could feel the warm of your core tickling his fingers.
âA bit higherâŠâ
Elliott smirked at you hungrily, his eyes alight with desire.
âHow about⊠here?â
He cupped your heat with his hand, and you stifled a moan.
âIt hurts here, does it?â
You nodded. âHurts âcus itâs empty,â you whined.
Elliott closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled.
â[Y/n], you are⊠fuck, I donât know what. Iâm no good with words. But actions - actions I can do.â
He withdrew his hand slightly to bring his thumb up to your sweet spot, and you gasped his name when he began caressing it while his other hand busied itself with unbuckling his belt.
âYou sure you want this, sweetheart? Here and now?â
You nodded desperately. âPlease, Elliott. I⊠I need you.â
Elliott had been aching to hear you express your desires for two weeks now, and though heâd not imagined youâd first speak them aloud in a carriage doorway on the side of the road with two dead bodies nearby, hearing you express not just a want but a need for him⊠it would have been enough to make him fall in love with you.
It would have, had he not already fallen deeper than he ever thought possible.
He entered you with a groan of relief. Your mouth was exceptionally talented, and heâd treasure the memory of that morningâs blowjob always, but there was nothing quite like the feeling of your walls around his length. He felt as if he belonged there, belonged in your cunt, belonged with you .
As much as heâd wanted to, Elliott had never fucked outside before. In a place such as Australia, it was hard to find somewhere that wasnât outside, but his first wife had never been one for show, and even after her death, he felt that taking a whore was something to be done privately.
But there was something inherently natural and right about fucking outside. God made the Heavens and the Earth, and he made man, but he never made anything like a building or a vehicle. Those were inventions of man. Humans were meant to fuck, and they were meant to do it outside.
Now that youâd broken the seal that had held both of you back from speaking during your morning trysts, Elliott took the liberty of being as vocal as he liked, muttering your name over and over again, as if making up for all the times heâd fucked you in silence.
âOhh, [Y/n]⊠fuck, you feel so good⊠so good for me, [Y/n]⊠Lord, if only I could live inside this sweet cunt of yours.â
Elliottâs words danced around your mind like a flame, setting your desire alight, every sense overwhelmed by him. The feel of his cock thrusting inside you, the sound of his muttered praise intersected with grunts of pleasure, the sight of his handsome face overwhelmed with pleasure. Even his smell, his musky smell that lingered on all his clothes, the unmistakable smell of sex that filled the carriage. The only thing missing was taste, but then again, youâd tasted him well enough earlier.
Lord, he was beautiful in the throes of ecstasy. And as your pleasure overwhelmed you, causing you to cry out and fill the carriage with the sounds of your moans as your orgasm washed over you, Elliott thought you were not just beautiful, but something otherworldly altogether. He fucked you through your orgasm, and when he filled you up with his seed moments later, Elliott knew in that moment that whatever you were, you wouldnât travel north up this road back to London as anything other than his wife.
---
By the time you arrived at Ivy Manor in Sussex, you were feeling a desperate need for a bath. You had cum on your legs, mud on your dress and in your hair, and you were sweating from the summer heat.
All your discomfort fell away, however, when Elliott helped you out of the carriage and you saw the manor house in all its splendour. It was bigger even than Westminster Abbey! And the land surrounding it sprawled for miles; you had certainly ridden at least a mile further past the manor gates before approaching the building itself.
You looked around, eyes wide as saucers, amazed that a building this large could even exist. And this was only one familyâs home!
âAh, thereâs my nephew!â
An older man, perhaps a little older than your late husband, came to greet you, wearing a black wool suit with a garish checkered vest, and you wondered if country lords were immune to summer heat, because you imagined Elliottâs uncle should be boiling inside that suit.
The uncle greeted Elliott with a warm smile and a friendly handshake, then turned to you and bowed his head.
âAnd this must be the cousinâs wife. A pleasure to meet you. Duke Rupert Beaumont, at your service. Forgive me, miss, but Elliott neglected to give me your full name in his letter.â
â[Y/n] Turpin, sir,â you said with a curtsy. âA pleasure to meet you. Thank you for having us in your home.â
âLady [Y/n] Turpin,â Elliott corrected you.
You smiled coyly. âYes, well, I donât see a need for formalities amongst family.â
âTurpin, you say?!â Duke Beaumont said in surprise. âAs in Lord William Turpin?â
âYes, sir, heâs my late husband.â
âWhy, I had no idea! Elliott mentioned his cousin was a judge, of course, but not that it was Lord Turpin! And youâre his lady wife, you say?â
âYes, sir. Did you know my husband, then?â
âKnow him? My dear - apologies, my Lady - I studied alongside him at Oxford! A very long time ago this was, mind you, but weâve written to one another on occasion. I had no idea my brother-in-law was his uncle. I hadnât known of his passing, though. Iâm very sorry for your loss, my Lady, he was an excellent lawyer and a noble man in every sense. Might I ask how he passed?â
âOh, erm ââ
âIt was foul play,â Elliott said, quickly sensing your discomfort and placing a comforting hand on the small of your back. âA former convict with a vendetta. A tragedy, of course, but letâs just be grateful [Y/n] wasnât harmed. In an unfortunately similar turn of events, we were stopped on our way here by highwaymen, and [Y/n] suffered an unfortunate fall. Could we trouble you for the use of a bath, and perhaps a servant to wash her dress?â
âYes, yes, of course! Highwaymen, you say? Should I send out for the police?â
âNo matter, I dealt with them,â Elliott said smugly, pushing his jacket back slightly to reveal the gun on his hip. âUnless you want to clear the road of their bodies.â
âHmm⊠yes, I suppose we should clear the road. Iâll send someone out. Well, come along, old chap, letâs get your luggage taken in and weâll draw a bath for the lady.â
A few hours later, you were feeling much cleaner after a bath, and the room youâd been told you were to stay in was already made up for you and your clothes laid out. You were surprised to find a servant girl expecting you to need her help getting dressed, but not wanting to embarrass Elliott with any faux pas, you allowed the girl to dress you for dinner.
You left your room just in time to see Elliott leave his, which was directly across from yours.
âWell, fancy seeing you here, mâlady,â he said with a smirk. âAre you my dinner date for tonight?â
âI think I must be. Although youâll have to keep your eye on me to make sure I donât do anything embarrassing, I know the basics of etiquette but Iâve never done much more than dine with William and Johanna.â
Elliott scoffed. âAnd you think I have? This is just as foreign to me as it is to you.â
You breathed a small sigh of relief to know you werenât alone in feeling like a fish out of water in such a grand place. You took Elliottâs arm and he escorted you down the corridor, both of you secretly hoping you remembered the way back to the dining room Duke Beaumont had pointed out to you earlier.
âSo, Elliott⊠your cousin a Lord, your uncle a Duke. Why donât you have any titles?â
âOh, we donât bother with peerages and titles in Australia. A manâs worth is judged on his character and achievements, not his name. Though if we did, then with the amount of land I own, Iâm sure Iâd be a Lord.â
âLord Elliott Marston of Australia,â you said in a faux-pompous voice, and Elliott laughed. âNo, youâre right, itâs not very you, is it?â
âDefinitely not. Mr Marston is fine with me. But Lady suits you very well.â
âOh, well, I donât know about that,â you said with a blush. âI come from nothing. Iâm a Lady only because of William. It feels strange to call myself a Lady when I donât have a Lord, thatâs why I never introduce myself as Lady Turpin. If I remarry a man of no rank and become a Mrs, I wouldnât mind.â
âDo you⊠intend to remarry?â
You turned a corner and succeeded in finding the staircase back down to the entrance hall.
âWell, I must, mustnât I?â
âMust you?â
âYes, I mean, if you truly intend to transfer my husbandâs estate to me, I canât very well go on without children, can I? Iâll need an heir to inherit Williamâs estate.â
âAnd do you⊠have any suitors in mind?â
The stairs were steep, so your focus was on not tripping over the hem of your dress, and you had an excuse to hide your blushing face - and avoid seeing the cautious hope in Elliottâs eyes.
âPerhaps,â you said noncommittally.
âPerhaps?â
âWell⊠there is one man Iâd consider accepting a proposal from, butâŠâ
ââŠBut?â
âIâm not sure heâd want me,â you admitted.
You reached the bottom of the stairs and Elliott paused.
âWhyever wouldnât he want you?â
You looked up at him, your eyes meeting.
âWell⊠he has no need to marry me for the estate,â you said, choosing your words carefully. âSo the only reason heâd marry me is for me. And, well⊠Iâm not much on my own, am I?â
Elliott frowned. He took your chin between his fingers, keeping your eyes locked on his.
â[Y/n]⊠youâre wonderful. Donât ever think youâre anything less. Any man would be lucky to have you as his wife, estate or no. William married you knowing full well you came from nothing, didnât he? No dowry, no estate. Just your kind heart and your gentle soul. He knew that you were worth far more than any lordâs daughter - and he was right.â
âDo you - do you really think so?â you asked quietly, your voice almost breathless as your insides twisted into knots.
âHave I ever struck you as a dishonest man?â
âNo, I ââ
You were interrupted by the ringing of a bell to call you for dinner, and you glanced away from Elliottâs striking gaze, your face no doubt bright red.
âPerhaps together we can fumble our way through dinner with a duke,â you said, glad for the distraction. You readjusted your hand on Elliottâs arm and let him escort you into the dining room, not realising that his eyes were firmly on you the entire time.
---
Dinner went on much longer than you were used to. There were seven courses, each with a break in between, and after dessert Duke Beaumontâs granddaughter Leanne who had a musical talent played a few songs on the piano. She reminded you a little of Johanna, who sometimes would play the piano in the parlour room, and you wondered where she was and if she was enjoying her new life with Anthony, wherever they were.
It felt strangely reserved, the way everybody sat and listened as Leanne played. Music was best enjoyed with dance, you had always found, and to sit simply listening made you feel as if something were missing.
But you didnât want to embarrass Elliott, so you sat politely, and with everyoneâs attention on Leanne, Elliott took the opportunity to place his hand on your thigh under the table.
You blushed hard, and from the corner of your eye, you could see him smirking.
Lord, how could a simple touch from him make you feel all aflutter?
âPlay something we can dance to, Annie!â said an older woman - possibly Leanneâs mother, though you found it so hard to keep track - and so Leanne switched to a faster song, and people began to stand and pair up to dance, mainly in couples, although adorably Duke Beaumont asked his five-year-old granddaughter to dance with him.
âDo you dance, [Y/n]?â Elliott asked.
âNot since my wedding day. We never - we never had a chance to host any social events.â
Elliott stood and held his hand out to you, the same one that until moments ago had been on your thigh.
âCome on, then. Iâll die a happy man so long as Iâve had one dance with the most beautiful woman in England.â
Was his intention to experiment with how much he could make you blush?
You took his proffered hand, stepped away from the dining table, and Elliott gave you a small, formal bow before placing his hand on your waist. You were both a little out of practice, but you fumbled your way into a rhythm together.
âYouâre very cute when you blush, you know,â Elliott commented as you danced, âbut you shouldnât feel embarrassed. I told you, Iâm an honest man, [Y/n]. I only speak the truth.â
âYouâre very kind,â you said with a small smile, looking up at him. âI suppose Iâm a shy person, thatâs all, and Iâm not used to such kind words.â
Elliott chuckled and shook his head. âIâm a lot of things, [Y/n]. Kind is not a word many would use.â
âThen let me be the one to use it.â
 âAlright. You can call me kind. So long as I can call you beautiful.â
You blushed and ducked your head with a smile. You knew Elliott had just told you not to be embarrassed, but how could you not be?
The song ended and you broke apart from Elliott to join the others in polite applause for Leanneâs playing. Duke Beaumont announced it was time for the men to have a smoke and a drink, so you decided it was time to go to bed. Elliott kissed the back of your hand as he wished you goodnight, and though you felt yourself blushing, you managed to stop yourself from glancing away this time.
A few hours later, you were still awake, as you were struggling to fall asleep in the unknown bed. You heard the bedroom door open and close; thinking it was a servant, you sat up groggily to tell them to come back in the morning, only to realise by the moonlight slipping through a crack in the curtains that it was Elliott.
He was already in his nightshirt. He slipped under the covers of the bed, wrapped an arm around your waist, and pulled you back down to lie under the covers with him.
âIs your room cold?â you asked.
âNo,â Elliott replied, his eyes already closed as he held you, and you turned towards him almost instinctively to wrap an arm around him. âIt was lonely.â
Your heart skipped a beat.
âYeah⊠mine too.â
âDoesnât feel so lonely to me.â
âNot anymore.â
Elliott smiled.
âGoodnight, [Y/n].â
âGoodnight, Elliott.â
The next morning, it didnât even hit you that it was the first morning youâd woken up in bed with Elliott and not had sex. You felt so comfortable waking up next to him, as if the simple intimacy of being in his arms and inhaling his scent was enough for you. You kept expecting him to initiate something, but instead he just held you, his fingers drawing meaningless shapes across your skin.
When eventually you got out of bed, Elliott went across the hall to his own room to get dressed for breakfast. You greeted him in the dining room as if you didnât know how heâd slept, and as you ate he asked if youâd like to accompany him for a walk around the grounds.
âThis place was a lot bigger in my memory,â Elliott mused as you set out side-by-side down a footpath around the manor. âThen again, I was very small last time I was here.â
âI think itâs enormous,â you replied, looking around at the gardens you were meandering through.
âI suppose it would be to you. My land in Australiaâs much bigger, though.â
âYes, youâve mentioned.â
âOn the topic of Australia⊠have you given any more thought to my proposition on the day I arrived?â
âForgive me - what proposition was that?â
âComing back with me.â
âOh - well, yes, thatâd be lovely Iâm sure. But if youâre to transfer me the estate, thereâs no point in leaving it to gather dust, is there?â
âWell⊠you wouldnât have to, necessarily. Here, letâs turn left - as I recall thereâs a lovely pond down this path.â
You followed Elliott down the left-hand turn, then he said, âI must admit, [Y/n], I had a slightly ulterior motive in coming here. I wanted to speak to my uncle about his purchasing the estate from me, though of course all the proceeds would go to you. He seems amenable to it - heâd like to purchase it as a wedding gift for Leanne. But I know how important Williamâs legacy is to you, so I wanted you to come here with me, to meet him and Leanne. Iâll only sell it to him if you permit it, and only if you donât intend to keep it for yourself. If you want to stay there, or if you donât trust him to look after it properly, Iâll not sell it to him. Itâs your home, after all, and you know Iâll not evict you from it nor leave it with someone untrustworthy.â
You reached the pond and there was a long silence as you considered everything Elliott had said. Although the idea of someone else living in what was supposed to be your family home with William filled you with dread, you didnât much fancy the other options.
You had known for a while what you wanted.
A part of you felt it was a betrayal of Williamâs memory. You owed him so much, after all. But he had left you without an heir, and if you didnât move on, then on your own death the estate would flounder.
âI have to think about it,â you decided. âThereâs so much at stake here - for you, for me, for Williamâs legacy. I must consider what he would want me to do.â
You glanced down at the clear water of the pond, and your eyes widened when you saw the large body of a fish swim by.
âLook, you can see the fish!â
Elliott laughed. You looked at him, frowning.
âAnd just what is so funny?â
âNothing, darling. Iâm laughing because your childlike wonder never ceases to be adorable. Donât you live by the riverside?â
âYou canât see fish in the Thames, itâs too dirty,â you said defensively, turning away from him to peer into the water again. âBesides, the waterâs too toxic to consume, so I hardly expect any fish can survive in there. Can you see the fish in Australia?â
âOf course you can. But then again, Australia is an untempered land, still in her infancy. Thereâs nothing to pollute the waters with.â
âOh, Australiaâs a she?â
âMost definitely,â Elliott said. You felt his hands on your waist as he stood behind you, his body definitely too close to yours for propriety.
âThat makes perfect sense, actually,â you teased. âThe way you talk about it, someone might think youâre in love with it. Why donât you marry Australia?â
âHmm, Iâd much rather marry you.â
You froze. Time stood still. Your heart missed several beats. When you turned around to look at Elliott, your mouth agape as if you were one of the fish in the pond, suddenly nothing in the world existed but for him and you.
âDo you - do you mean that?â
Elliott blinked in surprise, then laughed and shook his head.
âPerhaps I should have been clearer. What Iâm saying, [Y/n], is that Iâd like you to come back to Australia with me - as my wife.â
---
You were a little embarrassed at the way youâd excused yourself and almost ran off from Elliott, citing some mumbled excuse about having to think about his proposal.
A proposal! Elliott had proposed to you. You, with nothing to your name that he didnât have, nothing more than the collateral damage from some ex-convictâs murderous rampage. You, a glorified street urchin, who had only risen to the status of a Lady because Judge Turpin had fallen for you as more than a whore who kept his bed warm.
What could he possibly expect to gain from a marriage to you? William had married you for love only because he knew he had little time left, because if your time hadnât been cut short you were willing and able to serve him loyally and give him the heir he needed.
Perhaps that was it. Elliott had no heirs either, his wife having died some years earlier from sickness. He needed a wife, and he knew already how well you took his seed. Youâd unintentionally spent the last few weeks essentially auditioning your body to him as marriage material.
You were in the empty parlour room, pacing back and forth as thoughts swirled around in your mind, until your reverie was broken by Duke Beaumont entering the room.
âDuke Beaumont, sir,â you said by way of greeting, accompanied by a curtsey. âI hope you donât mind that Iâm in here. I needed a little time alone with my thoughts.â
The Duke smiled knowingly. âElliott proposed to you, then, did he?â
He knew? Of course he knew - Elliott must have told him that the sale was contingent on your accepting the proposal.
âWell⊠yes, he did,â you admitted. âIâm considering the options heâs laid before me, sir.â
âWell, let me give you a bit of help with that.â
The Duke reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a letter with its wax seal broken.
âAllow me to give you this - evidence of my nephewâs intentions, I suppose one would call it.â
âSir?â
You took the letter cautiously, and Duke Beaumont smiled through his beard with a knowing glint in your eye.
âCurious, isnât it, what a person says about another when theyâre not around to hear it?â
With that bit of vague wisdom, the Duke left you alone with your thoughts and the mysterious letter.
You unfolded the letter and read:
Dear Uncle Rupert,
You may be surprised to be reading a letter from me addressed from London; I am just as surprised to be writing it.
A cousin on my fatherâs side residing in London passed late last year, and as his only surviving relative Iâve travelled to London to administer his estate.
He leaves behind a stately townhouse, containing many extravagant furnishings, books, art and the like. He also leaves behind a widow, a wife he married not long before his untimely death, and therefore he had not updated his will and she had not yet borne children.
My first instinct on hearing of my inheritance was to write back asking the solicitor to simply sell the estate on, but when I heard of my cousinâs lone wife, I felt it my duty to attend London myself to ensure she wouldnât be left homeless.
On meeting her yesterday, however, my intentions have changed.
Iâm not ashamed to say she has bewitched me. Sheâs certainly beautiful, but thatâs only the start of her qualities, Uncle. She has an interest in the world most women donât possess, and sheâs clearly resourceful - having been barred from her husbandâs money since his death, she instead has been making money for herself designing and making clothes.
I worry, though, that my cousin was less than kind to her. She seems afraid of men, and it took some time of conversation with her to convince her I wasnât a danger. I fear, if left alone, she may be susceptible to marry a man who mistreats her, particularly if I grant her ownership of her husbandâs sizeable estate.
While in London, as well as administering the estate, I intend to take the time to get to know her, and more importantly, to give her the chance to get to know me and understand that I pose no threat to her.
Then, if sheâll have me, Iâll ask her for her hand and bring her back to Australia with me.
Which brings me to the reason for my letter, other than a friendly greeting. [Y/n] is clearly still very attached to the house and its contents - understandably so, since she still carries my cousin in her heart. I donât believe sheâd wish to depart without certainty her husbandâs legacy was being cared for by a trusted person.
I wonder, therefore, whether you, or perhaps someone you know, have any interest in purchasing the estate? The house is located centrally in London (for my cousin was a judge of the High Court) and its contents, if you wish to sell them on, would fetch a pretty penny at auction. I propose to sell it to you at a fraction of its value for the sake of a quick sale to a trusted person.
Please write back to the above mentioned address with your answer. I should also, if you are agreeable, like to visit your home during my stay in England, as itâs been many decades since we last met, and Iâd like to meet my cousins youâve so often written about.
Yours truly,
Elliott Marston
---
While you were considering the choice you had to make, Elliott couldnât stand to sit around waiting, so he joined his cousins in riding out to shoot some pheasants.
To his frustration, he kept missing them, because his mind was still on you. His cousins teased him, not for missing his marks, but because he was so bewitched by you.
âWell, if she says no, she has to marry someone,â said one of the younger men, Duke Beaumontâs grandson, who was about your age, as the men were tying their kills to their horses. âIâll gladly have her. Pretty little thing like that with a free London estate and no father to pay a dowry to? Bargain.â
Elliottâs hand twitched over the barrel of his gun, and he had to remind himself that murder was a bit harder to get away with in England than it was in Australia.
âIf she rejects me, I hardly expect sheâll have you, Jonathan,â Elliott snarled.
âOh yeah? Iâm not twice her age, for one thing. Better put a bun in that oven before you run out of ammo, old man.â
âIâm forty-four.â
âYeah, and sheâs what, twenty?â
Jonathanâs brother, Samuel, nudged him with a laugh. âHey, though, grandfather said her dead husband was sixty-something. Maybe she likes them old.â
Elliott stepped towards the two boys - because thatâs what they were, boys , hardly men - with a snarl on his face and his hand firmly on the barrel of his gun.
âSpeak one more unkind word about [Y/n] and Iâll tell your grandfather I mistook you both for pheasants.â
âAh, only a jest, cousin,â Jonathan said with a dismissive wave. âIâd not have her really. Donât want used goods, you know?â
Elliott forwent his gun for possibly the first time ever as his instinct took over and he punched Jonathan squarely in the jaw.
Samuel burst out laughing.
âHa, thatâs what you get, John!â
âBloody bastard!â Jonathan cursed. âWhat was that for?!â
âFor besmirching [Y/n]âs honour,â Elliott hissed. âPerhaps she does prefer older men, and who could blame her when men her age are nothing but boys?â
Jonathan glanced at his brother, who was still amused at seeing his brother taken down a peg, and so he made the wise decision not to engage Elliott any further.
âHey, isnât that her over there?â Samuel said, peering into the distance.
Elliott looked around, and sure enough, you were approaching atop a horse, riding sidesaddle behind Duke Beaumont.
âGrandfather, what are you doing out here?â Jonathan asked. âI thought you werenât joining the hunt today? Weâre just about to leave, actually.â
âOh, donât mind me, Iâm simply the delivery man. Lady Turpin required a ride out here and I was only too obliged to provide it. Off you pop, then, mâlady, and Iâll escort these two ratbags back to the house. Come along, pip pip!â
You slid off the back of the horse, landing on your feet, and the Duke turned his horse around to escort his obedient grandsons back to the house, leaving Elliott suddenly alone with you.
âThere might be some pheasants left in the north burrow,â Elliott said. âThough I suspect you didnât come here to hunt.â
You smiled coyly.
âNot for pheasants, no. I, um⊠I couldnât wait for you to get back. Literally - Duke Beaumont practically threw me on the back of his horse. He seems to be quite enthusiastic about you and I.â
âYou and I?â Elliott said questioningly, as if he didnât know what you were talking about.
You pulled the letter out of a pocket (you always sewed pockets into your dresses) and handed it to him.
âThe Duke showed me this.â
Elliott took the letter curiously, and when he opened it, if you didnât know any better you might have thought he blushed.
âAnd⊠you liked it, did you?â
âYes. Very much so.â
âAnd, er⊠what was your favourite part, if I might ask?â
You laughed.
âYou wanted to marry me from the day we met.â
âOf course I did, Iâd be a fool not to.â
âBut you⊠you waited. As if - as if my opinion in the matter was important.â
âOf course it is. I donât want you to marry me out of obligation, [Y/n]. I donât want you to come to Australia because youâve got nowhere else to go. And I certainly donât want your estate. I want you, and I want you to want me.â
âI want you.â
Elliottâs eyes widened hopefully.
âThen youâll have me?â
You grinned.
âYes.â
Elliott wrapped his arm around your waist and easily picked you up, spinning you around on the spot, and you squealed.
âElliott!â
He just laughed. When he put you down, you were both breathless, and he was grinning from ear to ear.
âJust you wait, [Y/n], youâll love it in Australia.â
âIâm sure I will. Iâll love it anywhere we go, so long as Iâm with you.â
---
You were married the very next day. You didnât bother with an event wedding - neither of you knew anyone in England who wasnât already at Ivy Manor. Besides, youâd both been married once before, and neither of you felt the need to wait for another opulent wedding. You just wanted to be wed, and so you married in your nicest dress and he in his best suit either of you had with you, and your guests were Elliottâs family.
Duke Beaumont gave you away, his daughter acted as maid of honour, and your groom was the most handsome man youâd ever laid eyes on.
You werenât ashamed of the tears that ran down your cheeks as you exchanged vows. Why should you be? They were tears of joy, joy youâd never known you were capable or deserving of feeling.
You made love that night free of the unspoken tension that had pierced your sinful but oh so right premarital trysts. You were his wife, he your husband, and you were free to make love as often as youâd like.
Some confidence came over you and you impaled yourself on your husbandâs cock, riding him with a ferocity and passion you never knew you were capable of.
Marriage must have given him a new virility, because Elliott came in and on you five times that night, but not without ensuring you came just as many. He worked wonders with his tongue, his fingers, his cock, and by the time you collapsed, exhausted, into each otherâs arms, you were sweaty and sticky and full of his seed in just about every place imaginable.
âIf Iâd known when we met that this was what you were like in bed as a husband, Iâd have married you on the spot,â you giggled. Elliott, although sated for now, was laying gentle kisses on the top of your head as he held you against his chest, as if your scent was a drug he was desperately addicted to.
âI canât get enough of you, [Y/n],â Elliott mumbled against your hair. âI meant what I said in the letter â that you bewitched me from the moment we met.â
You looked up at him. He was exhausted, sweaty, and just about the most beautiful thing youâd ever seen, because his amber eyes were almost glowing with love as he looked at you.
âI think I knew you in another life,â you said quietly, almost in a daze, as if you were overcome by some kind of hypnotic trance just by looking into his eyes.
Elliott smiled.
âIâm glad I found you in this one.â
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4dc7b1e9fd1a87e9c450c72abd80cde3/f2ad105d5385d271-a0/s640x960/35097567da11683cea354ba934b0c864a601039f.jpg)
Horror legend Ray Russellâs haunting and macabre stories, including âperhaps the finest example of the modern Gothic ever writtenâ (Stephen King), with a foreword by acclaimed filmmaker Guillermo del Toro  Haunted Castles is the definitive, complete collection of Ray Russellâs masterful Gothic horror stories, including the famously terrifying novella trio of âSardonicus,â âSanguinarius,â and âSagittarius.â The characters that sprawl through Haunted Castles are frightful to the core: the heartless monster holding two lovers in limbo; the beautiful dame journeying down a damned road toward depravity (with the help of an evil gypsy); the man who must wear his fatal crimes on his face in the form of an awful smile. Engrossing, grotesque, and completely entrancing, Russellâs Gothic tales are the best kind of dreadful.  For more than seventy years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,700 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.
buy here
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Few questions;
1. What is favorite CD you got?
2. Favorite music artist?
3. Show me your CD collection pls :) (not a question, but still)
4. How does one do a tumblr? (I'm new new)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c12565328b9623c84459153ff999218d/eb5bb1c88f3f9ba5-32/s540x810/45ce73470eaf8919170c3b125482386ce1207518.jpg)
oh man my favorite? that's a hard choice, but right now it's probably my copy of the ltd edition version of splatoon 2 live in makuhari/tentalive (it's a recording of the off the hook concert that included octo expansion's music)
both the sleeve and the jewel case cover art is so gorgeous, i love the concert itself, and off the hook just means a lot to me... also i like how they called it the limited edition version even though it's literally still in print five years later LOOOOL
as for my favorite music artist... i don't really know right now!!!! i listen to mostly vgm like a nerd đđđ i've been into SacriStuff's recent music for a while though, evergreen and boot up 2 are both real good albums and if i ever get into burning my own CDs they're definitely on my radar. i'm also really fond of harumaki gohan's music :) i wouldn't say im like huge into vocaloid necessarily but ive been meaning to look into more artists there ... really excited for my copy of daemon/doll to arrive on that note!!!
i'll talk abt my full collection under the cut, but as for how you use tumblr i'm not sure what you mean? if you have any specific questions i might be able to help better lol
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e27ecf6f732434b1588eca92aba8f6ad/eb5bb1c88f3f9ba5-1f/s540x810/dee7cad98ef45360caac7df130d0e76d3aa2c953.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e6c310c09e9fd1cf6c6fe03229b9be4c/eb5bb1c88f3f9ba5-6d/s540x810/9c43a72ef9cdcb0179c7af8291990d75a15bbbc9.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e5706de4ab9632e68f0ea4a9a88b1329/eb5bb1c88f3f9ba5-80/s540x810/913c88630a7083f4cbe44ce2bee58bc4b8652898.jpg)
here's my full collection! i have most of them on a bookshelf but i have zun's music collection (except the newest one, i need to reorganize to account for it and ive been putting that off), akyuu's untouched score, and the touhou fighter albums all displayed on my walls :) sorry abt the low quality pics it is unfortunately difficult to get good pictures of glossy plastic
* when i say all the touhou three fairies cds i unfortunately exclude the original one from eastern and little nature deity. too rare and expensive :(
* (OH ALSO not included here is the CD released with the physical collector's edition of Undertale. i don't have it with the others because it's in a DVD case and not a jewel case and wouldn't fit with the others, so i have it shelved elsewhere.)
honorable mention for one of my favorites goes to the bonus CD for touhou urban legend in limbo on ps4 (the cd with the bunny girl on it).... it's a bit rarer find and i found it relatively cheap so im proud of that LOL
also like i've said before i rip all of the contents of my cds and store them as .wav and .m4a files on my computer. (the latter would have album art/composer/etc metadata and translated when applicable, but the former doesn't. bc. wav can't do that)
for the most part if i have something any of you would like im happy to share my files! with the exception of some of the like. smaller indie stuff, bc of course i'd rather folks go support that where they can. also most of these are still in print and were bought new so if you're curious abt where you can pick it up yourself anyone's welcome to ask about any of em :)
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Considering the way that she got her new outfit in Vita Ayala's New Mutants is kind of a Sailor Moon/Magi(k)cal (hah) girl send up, I could totally imagine Illyana getting super into Sailor Moon as a young girl. Seeing girls around her age with similar magical powers without the associated trauma could give her a way to ignore her problems for a little while, and imagine herself in the role of Usagi, fighting evil with her friends (Kitty and the New Mutants) and a cute animal sidekick (Lockheed) without any of the pesky Limbo stuff. And even into her twenties she watches every reboot and does an annual rewatch of the original, which would influence how she manifested her new uniform.
It's also very cute to imagine her buying merch and trying to hide that she likes the traditionally 'girly' show from her friends and family, but she has the whole manga print run on a bookshelf somewhere.
#i also imagine she liked puella madoka magica for almost the complete opposite reasons#she sees a lot of herself in that. in a less than good way sometimes#illyana rasputin#magik#x-men#new mutants#headcanons#in oc land i imagine atticus is super into it purely through exposure from her#they went as tuxedo mask and sailor moon for halloween once and illyana would NOT stop smiling#he also buys her tons of merch. like a irresponsible amount. but cant tell anyone why hes buying the $400 plush of Luna
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Soliloquy As I Stare At The Wall
1.
When will we ever be adults? Why do we mourn childhood when we are still so young, so immature? When we threw our caps in the air, I wondered, why did I cry like I was saying goodbye to something that would only revisit me time and time again?Â
I am still a child. Just without the make-believe. I put on lipstick I am too young for. I shrink away when my mother raises her voice at me. I eat candy and it rots my teeth. I sit at the top of the stairs and bite my nails and listen to my parents talk in low voices. I am scared of the dark, and the monster in my chest.Â
2.Â
Home has become a limbo, a waiting room where I fill out a checklist of my symptoms. I do not know if Iâm waiting for someone to walk through the door. Maybe I am waiting for the foundation to crumble and someone to laugh and point at me after they wipe my tears. Iâm still too young to understand.Â
3.Â
Or maybeâŠactually-nevermindâŠor-maybe I know what home is. Because home does not necessarily have to mean it's a good thing, right? When I am welcomed home, the sandbag and stones fall back into my stomach. Itâs a welcome home gift-it would be rude to throw it back up.I stare at the blurry book titles on the table, the cross on the wall the corner of the cracked bookshelf. The stones begin to feel like the weight of my sins. I have felt this way since I was a child. Itâs familiar-so this is home. Right?Â
I do not know the answer. Maybe a doctor will help-or maybe I should sleep on it. After all, it is past 4 p.m. and I can no longer trust my thoughts when Iâm this tired. I take my shoes off and curl my legs into myself and the bed is a little too small. Iâm not as tall as you think I am- I have only grown another layer each time I come home, thatâs all. Iâll take it all off if you tell me to, though, so donât worry. Your precious daughter is still under there, somewhere.Â
Iâm sorry-nevermind. Forget I said that. I know my tone was rude.Â
4.Â
I do not doubt your love. I am afraid of it.Â
5.Â
I wondered when it started. Since when did my voice shake when I started talking to you? Since when did my mother telling me that I was just like her become an insult rather than flattery? How old was I, I wondered, when the erosion began?
Does my anger burn righteously or is it the pits of hell that you see?
Do you see the smoke, mother, when you look at our reflection?
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OMG LOOK THE FORMATTING WORKS!! ANYWAYS HERES THE NIGHTMARE!! THIS BABY WAS FUNDED BY SIX PAGES OF INFO ON SMOKE INHALATION!
[this starts off felWilbur already in the dream, so that means he could actually just sleep by himself in the dream, and actually sorta just passed out in real life from exhaustion. this means that when he 'wakes up' at the beginning, he's still actually dreaming! the things in italics (besides what Mumza says) is all in the real world, while everything in normal text is in the dream.]
  For some odd reason, Wilbur had been able to sleep that night. He had summoned the courage to take a shower and change into fresh pajamas; he had summoned the courage to brush his teeth, wash his face, and brush his hair. He really hadn't been taking good care of himself lately. Yeesh.
  Well, now Wilbur was slipping under his covers, taking off his glasses and placing them on the bedside table. He paused as his hand slid over the knob to the drawer. Maybe...
  No. No, he had already bandaged up his arms. He couldn't go for the lighter now, not when he was having such fortunate luck to have motivation to actually take care of himself for once.
  He took his hand away slowly, turning off the lamp and hiding in the thick, weighted blanket, curled around his blue sheep plush.
  Wilbur closed his eyes, feeling himself start drifting away from reality and into his dream. This was the easiest he had slept since his..
  Since they...
  He opened his eyes, hands tangling into the locket around his neck gently. Carefully, he lifted the locket to his lips and kissed it, before flipping open the heart and thumbing at the small compass inside. He let out a sigh and closed it, letting his eyes shut again.
  It had been awhile since they died. He needed to get over it, like everyone else. Phil never seemed very upset, Techno looked like he didn't think about it a lot, (authors note: Techno does, in fact, think about it a lot. he just pretends he doesnt, he's pretty good at masking emotions) so why couldn't Wilbur?
  Feeling his thoughts start to spiral, he immediately started trying to take deep breaths. He did not want to deal with tonight.
  After a moment of calming himself, he felt his body going limp into the mattress, and then void invaded his mind.
  The dream Wilbur was having was actually pretty nice and comforting for once. And then.. Smoke fogged up the dream, covering his vision. He could no longer see the comforting glow of the lantern in his dream.
  He shot up, coughing hard. Such a pleasant way to wake up. He scowled, before sniffing smoke in the air. His eyes widened, hands reaching for his glasses quickly. He slipped them on, and looked around. He could smell and see thick clouds of dark gray smoke. He recognized that well; fire.
  Throwing off his covers, he coughed and tried to recall what he learned at the fire department on those mandatory field trips when he was way younger. Crap, he couldn't remember what you needed to do. He dashed towards his door, covering his mouth and nose with his sleeve to try and stop from inhaling a lot of smoke. He placed his hand on the doorknob.
  Wilbur yelped and stumbled backwards, rubbing his hand where the doorknob had burned him. He wasn't prepared for that, and now he feels the heat behind his door. The fire is in the hallway.
  He stumbles to his bookshelf, grabbing his diary with his hand that remained without any burns on it. Then, he looked around the room to try and find an exit.
  His eyes caught on the window. Oh no. He has no other exit besides the window...
  If this were any other year, he'd gratefully accept his fate and let the fire seep into his room, giving him a taste of hell and hopefully taking him there, as well. But since then, he's sorta got people to live for.. And plus, limbo was just unpleasant that one time he went for awhile. And by fire, for that fact.
  So, all he could do was leap out the window and hope for the best. He coughed and coughed, coughing up black soot. He ignored it as he wiped it on his pajama pants.
  Wilbur stumbled over to the window, feeling how it was getting harder to breathe, his head pounding. His chest tightened and hurt, his eyes drooping. He was getting drowsy, and was coughing really hard.
  He unlocked the latch on the window, pushing it up. He grabbed his blanket and tossed it down, hoping it would cushion the fall a bit.
  His body was trembling. He was afraid to jump, but he knew he needed to. It would be better to be injured from hitting the ground than dead by fire..
  Taking a deep, raspy breath, (and coughing afterwards) he pushed off the window sill, falling down onto the blanket. He cursed as he hit the ground, hitting his arm and side in the process. It was painful, but still better than being dead. He could feel the fire from the first floor through the wall, and he quickly scrambled to his feet.
  Wilbur grabbed the blanket, and dashed to the trees on the far edge of the property. The family had decided that would be where they would go if they needed to evacuate or a fire started.
  Techno was on the phone, talking with the fire department to get a fire truck sent to their house. His hair was long.. Hadn't he cut it a few days ago? It wouldn't be this long again.. Huh. Wilbur must've forgotten. He couldn't think clearly right now anyways.
  Phil was sitting next to Tommy, fretting over him, picking pieces of ash from his hair and checking over his burns.
  Tommy, on the other hand, looked quite annoyed at this. He looked a bit frightened from the fire, yes, but that seemed to be drowned out by his annoyance that Phil is acting like he was still just a baby fledgling.
  Mumza was holding Child close, rocking them and trying to soothe them as they cried. There was no doubt they were terrified. In fact, it seemed everyone was terrified, but Child seemed to be the most upset. They were only five, anyways. They didn't know what was happening.
  Tubbo was pacing back and forth, pushing his hair up every now and again so he could actually see. It seems he was having a bit of trouble himself, with his emotions about this. Wilbur knew he must be upset; the boy had firework scars all over his body, of course he would be afraid of fire.
  Wilbur found it harder and harder to focus as he sat on the ground, wheezing and trying to breathe. But he just.. Couldn't. His lungs ached, his nose runny. He had a brain-splitting headache, and his mind was getting a bit cloudy. His vision was hazy, although he could see that his skin was a bit ashen, and his veins appeared to be.. Bright red. (authors note; red veins are a sign of carbon monoxide poisoning!)
  Phil looked up from Tommy for a second, counting everyone. "..five, six, seven.. Okay, good. Everyone is here." He muttered.
  Wilbur lifted his eyes, brows furrowed. Seven? He could've sworn there were eight people in the family, including him..
  Then, his eyes widened, as he remembered.
  Ranboo.
  He jumped up, ignoring the sharp pain that laced up his side, ignoring how the burn on his palm hurt as it hit the ground. He coughed violently for a second, before turning to Phil.
  "..R-.. Ranâ coughâ Ranboo i-isn't o.. outside..!"
  Wilbur exclaimed, his voice hoarse and rough. Everyone looked up at him, confused.
  "Well, yeah, Ranboo isn't outside cause they're deâ" Tommy started, getting cut off by none other than his own mother.
  "âin Australia, remember?" She reminded sternly, vaguely motioning towards Child. Child didn't pick up on this though, too busy hiding in Mumza's arms.
  Wilbur couldn't make out a word any of them said. He couldn't hear them, anyways. His ears were ringing, and they hurt. His mind was clouded with smog and all he felt was panic and delirium at the idea Ranboo was still inside. He coughed once more and turned towards the house, taking off towards it.
  "I'veâ coughâ gotta sâ save them..!"
  He exclaims, not being able to hear the protests. He knew someone was following after him; he wasn't stupid, after all. Wilbur knew one of his family members would be running to try and stop him from going into the fire.
  Looking back, he saw that Techno had set off after him. Wilbur sped up, not bothering to try and fiddle with his wings so he could fly. Luckily, despite Techno being really fast, Wilbur out ran him. That was a first.
  Placing his hand on the doorknob, he ignored as the skin sizzled and burned, swinging the door open. He ran inside, immediately starting to cough again. He could feel the heat from the fire, could feel the flames licking at his body, trying to catch.
  He ran in the house, screaming Ranboo's name despite his sore vocal cords. He wanted â no, needed,â to find them. He wouldn't let them be taken out by the fire.
  One fatal flaw in that plan; Ranboo was already dead. They had died awhile ago, but Wilbur didn't realize that. He also didn't realize this was all a dream. It felt too real to him. Poor Wilbur.
  Wilbur's chest tightened, his vision fogging. He couldn't think anymore, his headache pounding. His chest hurt so much, and he couldn't stop coughing. Eventually, as he was running up the stairs, his legs gave in, and he felt to the hard, hot, burning floor with a yelp.
  He gritted his teeth and ignored the pain of flames licking at his skin and forced himself to go up the stairs on his hands and knees.
  The pain was unbearable, long and dragged out, but he needed to...
  He needed...
  Wait, what was he doing in here again?
  His eyes were getting heavy, his vision foggy. It felt like his mind had been covered in plastic wrap over and over. His head pounded, and it was like all he could feel was the fire burning his skin, his heaving chest as it felt he was coughing up a lung, and his head feeling as though it was being smashed in with a hammer.
  Without warning, the coughing turned into gagging, and black, sooty bile came up his throat. He let out a sob, finally letting tears take over. His vision was getting hazy, mind clouded with confusion, delirium, and panic.
  He barely made it up the stairs before the fire behind him roared, knocking him completely to the ground. The fire climbed up his back, setting his clothes on fire first. Then, his wings. He cried out in pain as the fire tore at his wings painfully, the delicate feathers catching flame. It hurt like hell.
  The fire made its way around his body, burning his skin and face, and hair..
  He coughed up black, sooty mucus, finally realizing what was wrong. Smoke inhalation. There wasn't anything he could do.. He had inhaled way more smoke than was recommended (which is, unsurprisingly, zero) and was currently burning alive.
  Wilbur collapsed, eyes closing as the flames ravaged his body, tearing away at his flesh and toasting his bones.
  Wilbur shot up with a gasp, rubbing at his eyes to wake up quicker. His arms reached for his plushie and wrapped around it, hiding his face in it.. It took him a second to realize there was no fire, there was no smoke, there was just him, alone, in his room.
  Everyone else was asleep, though he could hear the faint sound of Tommy playing his discs and scribbling.
  He tried to catch his breath, but he couldn't breathe. He really needed Ranboo to calm him down just about now...
  If only they weren't dead.
  The pain of remembering that was almost as painful as the dream. Still; he'd prefer the dream over reality. That would mean there'd be a change they were still alive.
  They weren't, unfortunately.
OMFGGGG IM IN LOVEEEEE!!! You even mentioned Tommyâs obsession!! If youâd like, i can send you what i have on the next chapter for my series from Secret Fluff!
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hi its time for me to go insane again <3 this one is extra long so if you care about what's happening on @original-character-championship click the read more for my silly words!!
ok so. picking up from last time. Yellow tells Present he accidentally made her a demi-god. they have a mini training montage. (she does not learn much. he is the god of stupidity so this is to be expected). after that. he drops her off. on T island. not at home. where she was before. but T island
Pres does NOT want to be here, and realizes "hey. i can get revived at blood moon films. the place i got revived at last time. hm."and decides being dead for a bit is better than being back on this fucking island (but Alone this time). Before she's revived she stays at her limbo for a bit (i will prolly show off what it looks like later).
soon, she gets revived by Depressed Glass (they/them), who is Snowglobe's childhood friend and a body snatcher! They take Present to Red Circle (they/them), one of Baton's friends and the person that helped revive her last time. Red circle says that Baton is safe, at their house, and misses her so very very much. They decide to go visit Baton and Black Square (he/him) (red circle's boyfriend) during RC's break.
Present decides to drop that she's kind of god and the world is ending in like the worst way possible (this will be an important tool that'll help us later!). Also Baton maybe gets a lil bit cursed on accident by her adopted kid that kidnapped him (Hattish (any pronouns)). But it's finneee.
Anyways, Present gets taken to the 4th Wall for a bit because of God Shenanigans, and before she goes back Present and one of the gods, Purple, have a nice chat! They even start teaching her how to do (minor) shapeshifting! All she can do at the moment is change her ribbon color, but she gets better at it eventually!
She goes back to RC and BS's house, and everything is swell for a bit. She misses Snowglobe, and is a bit worried for her and Baton, but other than that everything is fine!
After a few days, Present is taking a nice nap on the couch, Baton just sitting on the floor in front of a very nice bookshelf, just waking up from her own nap. And oh ok. The Bookshelf fell on top of her. Dear god.
Luckily, her plastic is strong enough that she Doesn't die, but she is bleeding a lot, he cant move, and Present is freaking out so much, especially since BS and RC are at work at the time. Luckily, two gods (Red and Yellow) decide to help get Baton to the hospital. Yellow helps with the surgery (Because he is Definitely a surgeon and did not fake any documents). And oh hey, look who's in the same hospital room! It's depressed glass! wonder why they're here.
anyways! Thanks to more God Shenanigans Snowglobe is brought to the 4th wall, along with Present so they can meet. Present catches her up on everything and they both realize. Hey. These god guys. Kinda Suck. They haven't told her much of anything, not about her powers or what she needs to do to save the world. She has a bit of a breakdown about the whole situation, since she doesn't. Want any of this, and Snowglobe tries to help comfort her.
They are brought back to the hospital room and Snowglobe and Depressed Glass have a chat about how they Definitely tried to avenge her death by murdering Red Circle and also took over two innocent people's bodies. Luckily, DG Realized that "hey, this is a bad idea. and totally not what she would want. also she's alive again so. maybe. i should give up on this." Plus, they already had their shit rocked by one of the people they possessed (oh hey that's why they're in the hospital!) so everyone decides that was stupid, and as long as they work to be better. and try to apologize to the people they hurt. they're fine.
anyways! more god shenanigans. this time they accidentally swapped a few peoples bodies. Luckily, we only need to worry about a few! Present and Snowglobe swapped bodies, and Baton and Red Circle also swapped. And oh hey. the God Shenanigans are now Everyone shenanigans. Turns out, the gods really hate this One Really Old Man named Angelsea(he/him). And they want everyone in this room to help murder him (besides red because they were. not in the plan.)
The first part of the plan is to get this random guy no one here besides Depressed Glass could know, Toothbrush (he/they). They're here because they work security at Blood Moon Films, and he could deal with the security cameras in the hospital!
They do not want to help with a murder plan. But they really need the help, so... Red convinces Present, in snowglobes body, to take over Toothbrushes body. She really only agrees to do it cause... Why should she not? She's supposed to help them, and maybe helping them kill this man she doesn't know will help save the world! (plus, she doesn't want to disappoint them)
So, Present takes over Toothbrush's body, and the murder plan goes. About as well as you would expect. Present and Toothbrush do their part well, at least. And once Angelsea is dead, Present separates from Toothbrush, killing them both (for now)
Present is revived by Baton (in red circle's body). Baton had visited Red circle in their body and they told her about the... whole murder plan thing. And is... A bit disappointed. Not for the murder (well i mean. yes the murder but that's not it), but the fact she just... Went along with what the god had asked of her. It's not like SHE wanted to do it, in the first place. Baton talks to her a bit, and tell her that she shouldn't do things just because these LOSERS told her to. And that maybe. She should quit.
She says she'll talk to the gods about it (she never does) and they head back to RC's home. Present realizes Snowglobe went missing after the murder plan, and no matter where she and baton look they can't find her. It's probably fine.
anyways present and snow globe got kidnapped by the older gods (Plants and Bookmark (they/them for both)) to fix the fact they were body swapped. Unfortunately bookmark is a lil stupid and fucked up present's wrapping paper so they replaced it themselves.
anyways the older gods dropped them off in an alleyway. but at least they were in the correct bodies (đđđ)
anyways. remember how present told baton that she was a demi-god? yeah uh. She Wasn't supposed to do that. Purple and Red told the two that. Because Purple accidentally told baton their Real names when trying to help return her to the correct body, and present told him about the god thing, Yellow decided that he knew Too Much and her memories had to be erased.
Yellow, however, is still god of stupidity. He meant to just get rid of any memories related to the gods, but instead got rid of any memories related to magic at all. Luckily, any memories not directly related to gods were not Completely removed, they were so blurry that is was difficult to remember any details about it. Oh btw she had been surrounded by magic for the 6 years that this story had taken place over.
Purple and red help them back to RC's house, where baton is (no, she was Not properly released from the hospital but. it's fineee) and they all have a nice reunion where baton almost immediately thinks she cheated on her girlfriend with Red Circle because of a fake news article that she had read.
Anyways, some less important things happen. snowglobe gets fed a person thinking it's koolaid. that person might've been a potion. that potion might've been a love amplification potion. you know. normal things.
anyways snowglobe decides to tell present and baton that she developed feelings for them both (being small crushes amplified by the "koolaid"). turns out, present and baton also had feelings (ones they had talked about together before hand) for snowglobe. so they say "fuck it. lets date." and bam. bitches acquired.
and that's the end for. todays insanity. ill see you next time. because there's still more to cover. (there's. so much to cover. i might save some for next round if she wins. so vote for her if you wanna hear more of her story!)
#heart art!#heart beats!#long post#present!#theres a lotta stuff i cant properly explain related to what the gods do#mainly because i dont remember it#but also because. a lot of stuff happens. that doesn't carry too much weight. atleast not toward present's story#so when i say god shenanigans. just assume they are dicking around with some other mortal's life. and dont worry about it#unless i go into detail about it. then it matters#anyways! i love going insane#vote for my girl please <3#cause she is silly
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Ease Your Feet Off In The Sea: Call Me By Your Name
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ab361485167a9c76f851085d79776895/ec729fb0029fd5be-67/s540x810/c8cc770c533c32c609b043ef2b8b03be09312f15.jpg)
During the hectic period of non-stop flashcards and mind maps, I had little to no time to sit down and pick up a book. I either simply had no time, or my mind kept drifting back to memorised Othello quotes and dates of Thomas Mooreâs influence over the King, to put it short, the only thing I read for pleasure in those months were the finishing pages of Mendezâ âRainbow Milkâ in a week I had spare between exams. Then suddenly as those final seconds ticked down on the watchful digital clock on the wall of the exam hall on my final exam, I thought to myself: now what? I suddenly had a very large void taking shape in me that I had never experienced- it used to be filled with revision, homework, or even after-school clubs- but now everything I new was gone.
Iâm still in that limbo stage between A Levels and University, but with results creeping up and the need to catch up with what Iâve missed itâs been easier to secure my feet to the ground. To be honest, I think having nothing to do for weeks is the perfect medicine for a reading drought. As soon as the sun shone over the Monday following my last exam, I packed my bags with the essentials (books) and left for my grandparentsâ home: the ideal slow-paced lifestyle. And I exploited every aspect of that.
Sat with my legs curled up on an old sofa and cup of tea in hand, I opened up my first novel in over a month: Call Me By Your Name. As one of my closest friends had described it, this book was the perfect way to dip your toes into the pool of summer as it began to warm under the Sunâs rays. Setting a certain scene in the hotel bathroom aside, Acimanâs portrayal of the yearning soul under the strain of a fruitful and erotically blooming summer was everything I could have asked for at this time. It was serene and meditative, like listening to Sufjan Stevens for the first time or feeling the grass between your toes, completely suspended in the unreality of summer and refreshing breeze of being alive. Immediately I was captivated by Acimanâs raw strip back as the reader was not only invited into the story, but inhabited Elioâs own flesh (I noted very early on that we do not learn Elioâs name until a considerable amount of the novel has been read- as if Aciman is demanding loyalty to the story or an empathy that can only be found by subjecting you to the penetrating emotion before you can become acquainted with his surface).
This story of first and seemingly lasting love scaling the lengths and depths of time was a perfect combination of everything I desired after such an intense period of academic upheaval: it had the simplicity of a young romance (its ease to follow and smooth transitional feel much like that of the cello harp duet âThe Swanâ by Sebastian Comberti and Miriam Keough I am listening to as I write) but also the literary depth of a classic I was so familiar with studying on an academic level that I could not only walk on the shallow clear puddles of a pool left by a Casey McQuiston novel, but also submerge my entire being in the sensual, passionate, and religious depths of an ocean of tears shed by unpronounceable tragedy.
It has now been over a month since I tidied Call Me By Your Name back in the A section of my home bookshelf, but as I sit leafing back through the pages graced not so long ago and rereading passages highlighted with an appropriately peach felt-tipped ink has, beyond currents of obsession and fear, uncovered the site of my heartâs burial: set for eternity in a restless summer on the Italian Riviera where a powerful romance will bloom between seventeen-year-old Elio and his fatherâs house guest, Oliver.
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April 11: Self and Duck Updates
I took a long nap after work because I was just so tired. I have this sort of feeling like I'm sick or getting sick but it's like not specific enough to take a sick day or anything so I'm just like... continuing on with my routine as if nothing were amiss. But I'm feeling rather stressed about it. Like I'm in a sort of limbo.
While napping, I had these dreams, in which I was reading these really effed up books, which just kept getting more and more violent, and in the dream I was actively trying to talk out to myself why I should feel okay putting the books down and not finishing them, even though I don't like not finishing stuff.
Duck updates: There was another spate of them yesterday, but already today most of them seem to be gone. Half the mailbox ducks are gone, including the library mailbox one, which I do consider a theft. Also gone are the one outside the RBR, the one somehow on the outside of the window over the staircase, and the little green one on top of the bookshelf near the TS door, which I regret not hoarding away for myself. I did take one of the pink ones from the sign above the book return.
I really didn't accomplish anything after work today other than this nap and like... I did not feel up to anything and I needed the nap so I don't regret it, but I also feel quite bad now. Full of anxiety and worry. I hate feeling like I've burned out on this week and it's only Tuesday but I'm not really sure what else to do. I hope that the extra rest today will make tomorrow better.
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"When your father gives her portrait a wistful glance now and then, you can tell it brings back painful memories. A tall bookshelf. A ladder. An unabridged COLONEL SASSACRE'S.
He never wants to talk about it."
If he never wants to talk about it, I wonder how John came to that conclusion, since it's not true? Maybe Dadbert was willing to lie once but felt too guilty to do it again. I certainly wouldn't want my kid blaming themselves for my mother's death.
Huh, where'd that extra Gamebro page come from? Anyway, you've just desecrated your grandmother's remains. Better get out the dustpan, or Nanna will be trapped in an eternal, ghost-like limbo where she's neither dead nor alive- oh, wait.
That lamp is actually incredible. Also, look who's taking after his dad! Aww!
Somehow, I get the feeling his death was planned from the start.
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